The Peevery

I am unreasonably pissed off and had to write this extra-strength peeve.

A local charitable organization put out a call for items needed for their foster child care program. They said they wanted duffel bags full of stuff for kids ages 10-15, personal care items and little gifts, for them to take to a new foster home. 

I talked to the organization's director about what exactly they wanted in the bag, and since I don't have many kids to buy gifts for I thought it would be fun to splurge and pack a bag of stuff for an adolescent girl.  I imagined the girl going through the bag looking at the hair accessories, notebooks, lip gloss, gloves, socks, and other practical items and thinking, "Well, my situation is fucked up but people care about me." 

So today after lunch I drove to the organization's office and was excited to see what they were like. 

I said, "Hi,  I'm responding to your request in the newspaper for duffel bags full of stuff for your foster care program."  The receptionist looked at me like I had a monkey sitting on top of my head.  I explained it again.  She said, "Hmmmm...let me call someone."  

Gambling With Your Job

I was reading this article about Best Buy offering buyout packages to most of their corporate employees. It sounds like they are going to see how many people take the buyout then restructure and lay off people if necessary. The way the economy is right now, I don't think I would take a buyout if my company offered it. I would take my chances on being necessary to the company and avoiding layoff during the restructuring. It would be very difficult for me to find a new job in my industry. My company is in better shape than most local companies in the same industry and even we have a hiring freeze.

Drat! Foiled again!

I attempted to take a quick nap at work.  I was so tired.  Nobody was on my floor and I didn't expect anybody to return for an hour.  I set my alarm for a 20-minute siesta.  As soon as I had gotten horizontal on a couch and closed my eyes, one of my tattletale co-workers came back early and foiled my plan.  Fucker.

Candy Man

When you lay off an employee, I think you should do so without a lollipop in your mouth. Especially when you're a 50-year-old man who is not Willy Wonka.

Open Peeves

So many peeves sent in by readers this week! I guess I should remind you every time I post open peeves that you, the wonderful, frustrated and irritated reader of the Peevery, can send in your own peeves and I will post them! Send to peevedmichelle at yahoo dot com. If you want me to link your name to your blog, be sure to include the URL.

Red has a peeve:

Esteemed United States Senators

How can you deny automakers a relative pittance while throwing everything including the solid gold kitchen sink at banks and insurance companies that were just as dysfunctional except on a much larger scale?  If your level of concern falls with an entity's relative value, I guess 99.99999999999% of us are fucked.  Merry Christmas to you, too, and thanks for your concern.  Assholes.

Aeirlys has a peeve:

Dear Mr. Obama,

I volunteered for your campaign. I donated money, I made phone calls, I alienated all my friends by talking up your campaign. I even drove to freaking Nevada to knock on doors. But, so help me god, if you send me one more freaking email asking for money I will donate my life savings to the Republican National Convention. I'm not even kidding.

You're the President-Elect, not a busker in the subway. Start acting like it.

Thanks,
Aeirlys

Max has a couple peeves:

What are these stupid WTBS advertisements that are fake stand up comedy?  Whoever approved these ought not to have a job right now.  The jokes do not come within 100 miles of humor, and the "audience" is full of braying morons.  In a way I feel sorry if these are actors and they have to pretend like they are having a nice time at a comedy club.  Sheesh.

------

I notice more companies use the word "generous" to describe themselves.  For example, Continental Air talks about their "generous" frequent flier miles.  A restaurant near to me lists their wines on the menu, and highlights their "generous 6 oz pour".  Does it make any sense to describe your own actions as generous?  If you are seeking praise for doing something then isn't that more like selfishness than like generosity?

Hank has a couple peeves:

FYI, dispose your dirty/used kleenex in the garbage can (key word here is: GARBAGE) not the counter or on top of filing cabinets.

------

Please stop crunching, snorting, and kicking your desk; the office is small.

Informally Yours

Sometimes I need to formally address written correspondence on my job.  Ms. Smith. Mr. Jones. Dr. Feelgood. 

Often I need to respond to someone whose name doesn't tell me whether they're a Mr. or a Ms.  This  is mildly irritating.  How dare they have names like:  Loris, Jan, Lee, Jamie, Sky, Alex, Harley, Dana?!   Whenever I make a guess, I'm wrong. 

So I have to be all familiar, which is fine, except they usually address me as Ms. Something and I like to keep it formal until we get to a place where we can keep it real.  You know?  

My answer would have been, "Yes."

If I am sitting at my desk with my headphones on, a half-eaten sandwich in front of me, one bite of which is still in my mouth, the first words out of your mouth should be, "Sorry to interrupt your lunch. Would you like me to come back later?"

Bawk Bawk

Sometimes I am a little bit chickenshit. If someone is being unreasonable in a meeting and I am tired of dealing with him or if I know a topic will lead to confrontation, I say that we can't make a decision about it right now anyway because someone is missing from the meeting. Then I follow up with that person outside of the meeting and make the decision in the absence of the troublemaker.

Go away!

My email to Co-worker 1 and Co-worker 2 at 3pm: The logs will be finished parsing in 2.5 hours and the data will take about .5 hours to import. You can run your report in 3 hours.

Co-worker 1 to me at 4:35: When will I be able to get that report?

Me: Did you get the email I sent at 3 that said it would take about 3 hours?

Co-worker 1: Yes.

Me: Dumbfounded look on my face.

Co-worker 2 calls me with Co-worker 1 in his office at 4:45: Hey, I'm sitting here with Co-worker 1, we're just wondering about the status of that report.

Me: Hang up the phone and jump off the roof of the building.

Train me, no don't train me

I regularly decide that I'd like to attend some sort of professional training to improve my skill set but when I get off my lazy butt and schedule it I end up dreading it to the point where I often cancel it or re-schedule it. Training classes are so damn boring even when you are learning good things.