The Peevery

You Know Me

Dear Readers of the Peevery,

I love you. I'm not just saying that because I'm drunk and I want to make out with you. I'm saying it because I want a favor from you.

I will be speaking on a panel about running a group blog at BlogHer '10 in New York City in August. I need to submit a speaker bio on the BlogHer site and I really don't want to write about myself. (Shocking, I know) so, I am asking each of you to write one sentence about me and I will put them altogether and submit them as my bio. Here is what my Twitter followers have given me so far:

Surely you can top that.

-PM

Learned it the Hard Way

Apparently I can't blog using Typepad in Google Chrome.

I have to switch my browser back to Explorer, otherwise the post won't publish or even save to draft.

Either that, or I'm a big fathead dummy.

Reader Peeves

Anonymous has a peeve:

When people that are very near and dear to my heart see that I post on Facebook, they think it means they can actually reach me on the phone (since I'm obviously not doing anything important by posting things to Facebook). 

It's become such that I'm afraid to actually interact with anything on Facebook because I know you'll be calling me shortly after.  Part of my joy of social networking VIA THE INTERNET is so that I can come and go as I please.  Back the FUCK OFF already.

Have a peeve? I want it. peevedmichelle at yahoo dot com

I'm not sure whether to press the "like" button or not.

Ripped from my Facebook page, this sidebar ad:

Scholarships for Moms

 

 

Like

Unlike

You're not sure whether to like or unlike

 

 

How is this targeted? Moms, get a scholarship and go to school so you can get away from your deadbeat hippie husband who may be a serial killer on the lam?

Fluffington Post

I was reading a Time Magazine article online and noticed the following feed of recent articles from the Huffington Post. I've never been a fan of this "news" organization and now that I see what is headline-worthy over there these days, I doubt I ever will be.

The Great Interview Experiment... Again

Last year, I participated in the Great Interview Experiment run by Neilochka on his Citizen of the Month blog. I interviewed Scott at fivetoedsloth and I was interviewed by Amy from Momentary Madness. I wasn't planning to participate this year, but Neil asked for people to fill in for interviewers who flaked out and I volunteered.

I interviewed girlvaughn and I encourage you to participate in the Great Interview Experiment.

Why, Oh, Vaio?

Surely Sony could have come up with a better Vaio shill than talentless, classless, pointless Julia Allison?  The very sight of this fugly troll sends me into seven purple fits.

Can I Sue?

I know this is totally inane, and petty of me, but it's starting to get under my skin. My status updates on Facebook are being burglarized.

I'm no wordsmith, but various friends have used my status as their own. A girl asked to use one, and of course I couldn't be a total bitch and tell her to come up with her own, so I said sure. I went back and read the comments (she copied and pasted it) on hers, and someone said, "I'm totally stealing this!" and another said, "I love the way your mind thinks!"

I'm trying to figure out how to make money off this, of course. Copyrighting status comments, now how douchey would that be?

Bitch!

I got called out for being a bad mother and bad wife on my own blog!

It's from someone in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.  Here's the comment"

A new comment from “Buzz Kill” was received on the post “bahamas, bitches” of the blog “the amazing adventures of jen14221”.

Comment:
Seriously, you have an incredibly understanding husband and son. You do more stuff alone than any woman I know -- including work away from home for most of the week. I am with my children every day and still don't know if I could justify all the "girlfriend vacations" you take. I don't know if I'm jealous of you or sad for you and your family. Probably both.

Buzz kill, indeed.

Contact Info

It peeves me that the various Seattle Public Library branches do not list their fax numbers on the website.  I regularly need to reserve a room and as a result I have to call to get the fax number so I can fax the form to them.  Alternately, I'd love it if the form was just an online process and I didn't have to send them a hard copy of anything, but I guess I can't have everything. 

Next Time It's Papa John's

I always order online from Domino's, because I'm enthralled with watching my order status, and I also like to greet my delivery driver by name. My life is pretty boring.

When I submitted my order tonight, it said it could not be processed, and to call the store. Yeah right, like I'm going to talk to a real person. So I tried it three more times - no success. Then the phone rang - it was Domino's, wondering what was going on.

Their credit card machine was apparently going crazy, spitting out voided slips, even though I got charged for it. I finally got my order done (over the phone, sigh) and really, really hope Domino's puts that $80 I didn't spend back in my account.

Lists

I have no idea how my work email ended up on so many different mailing lists, but I'm starting to get annoyed by the no fewer than 20 emails per day that are just junk mail.  Similar to Red's flies, I can opt out of 5 'newsletters' a day and yet somehow 5 new ones take their place.

Going Blind

I have been staring at 41,000 lines of XML to try to de-bug a script and I am starting to see spots.

That is all.

Status updates on Facebook and posts on Twitter that end with the phrase, "That is all," irritate me to no end.

Examples:

I am cooking. That is all.

I like bacon. That is all.

About to become the Mayor of Boringtown. That is all.

Is it supposed to be funny? Is it supposed to imbue the previous statement with added dimension and meaning? What the motherfucking fuck is it about?

Make Sure It Works

On more than one occasion I have been asked by a branch of the federal government to submit my employer's information online via their websystem.  On more than one occasion I have gone online to do so only to be thwarted by the website's issues.  Perhaps the government branch should consider the simple practice of extensive testing of their site to ensure there will be no troubles.  I just spent ten minutes navigating a phone system after the website told me my EIN and PIN do not match their records.  The guy on the phone, "Oh yes, they've been having troubles with the system.  I recommend you try logging in daily."  Seriously dude?  If they can't be bothered to deal with extensive testing, perhaps they should post a message on their site that sometimes the database is not working and you should be patient instead they threaten my employer with a $1,000 fine for each individual I do not report and give me a 30 day deadline.  Also, while I'm griping, a 30 day deadline from "receipt of this letter" is not a helpful deadline.  Give me a real goddamn date please.

An "I" For An "I"

Don't use pronouns to begin sentences any more. Not sure why. Can only think to blame social media and my fleet-fingered texting. Annoys me, can't imagine how much it bugs others too.

Love, Exciting and New

I got the Palm Pre. I loved it unconditionally, until just about now.

I took all my data from Google, Palm desktop, my old phone and Outlook and merged it all onto the Pre. Well, I didn't do it, the handy data transfer assistant program thingie did it. Then I had to blend and edit duplicate records. Now when I sync it all up, it's supposed to be perfectly accurate between what I see on Google on my big computer screen, and what's on the Pre, but there are little differences that are really irritating. I think there's a slight lag time in syncing, at least I hope that's what the issue is. I'm baffled by wireless, and trying to understand it makes my head hurt. 

In Need of Recovery

I'm freakin' addicted to the Pathwords app on Facebook!  I think I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome from it.  Plus it's hindering my ability to work.

Just Great

In addition to being annoyed by the term "webinar," the webinar was 2 hours long and only had like 4 screen changes.  At that point, why call it a webinar when it's mostly a teleconference?

Each time someone asked a question, the speaker would cheerfully say, "Katie, that's a GREAT question."  "Tom, that's a GREAT question."  I find it hard to believe that the speaker thought every single one of the 37 questions asked was all that GREAT.

In case you missed the point, I am saying that your blog is boring.

If you are going to truncate your posts in the RSS feed, you should make sure that the first two sentences of each post are interesting enough to make me want to click through to your blog to read the whole thing. So far, not so much.

Can't Print That

I am scheduling an event where I will have speakers throughout the day.  I have the appointment open in Outlook and I can see the available times on each person's schedule.  I wish I could print this out.  They all have different lengths of time they will be speaking and it would be easier for me to manipulate my schedule if I could see their schedule side by side with my agenda.

Better Web Presence

I know that their site sucks because they do not sell online, but I really wish my favorite store, Fred Meyer, had a better website so I could see if they had aprons without having to go there. 

The Peevery at BlogHer 10

Before BlogHer 09 was even over with, registration for BlogHer 10 opened. The same Peevery contingent that was there this year is planning to go again: Peeved Michelle, Joanne, Jen14221, Blaugra, and Kate the Peon (maybe). Hopefully more will be able to make and hopefully we'll be able to meet up with more of you readers next year.

In the meantime, we'd love to check out your blogs. You can check out the other blogs of the Peevers by clicking on their names in the Peevery roster on the right. My other blog is Opinions for Nothing. It has been neglected as of late.

Leave a link to your blog in the comments and we'll check it out.

Up Your Tweet

Twitter is still being an asshole to my BlackBerry.

Why bother?

I hate when companies have a website that doesn't offer any information. If your website is only going to have a few stock photos and your store address (not even store hours), don't bother.

Nice hair

If anyone is interested in seeing what a total dork I am, just watch:

I'm also the kid in the middle of the dodgeball circle.

I'm going to be the only blogger at BlogHer without a laptop and/or a smartphone. Piss and moan!

I ordered a Palm Pre last week and was soooo excited.  Sprint told me it would arrive today.  Now there's such a nationwide rush on them, it's backordered until next week. I want to be pissed off at Sprint or Palm, but I'm the procrastinator. 

So if you're going to the conference, look for me with my old flip phone, writing with a pen on paper.

Related

Yesterday I was playing the Neverending Movie Quiz in Facebook and kind of dozed off while watching TV.  This is not uncommon.  However, when I awoke I was a bit befuddled and my computer was being scanned.  I have no idea how on earth I ended up with PC Security 09 but now I have it.  It is the devil.  It has hijacked my browser and I can't do simple things like check my Yahoo email because it is "insecure."  Similarly it is smart enough to know when you are trying to download something to get rid of it because it won't let me go to those pages either due to their insecurity. 

*I do have Firefox downloaded.  It seems to be unable to work with my DSL program. Or maybe it can but every time I try I get a failure to connect error.   Usually that's fine because I don't mind IE except for the once a year some stupid malware downloads. 

Stupid McAffee

Dear McAffee,

Why do I pay you a bajillion dollars each year to renew my subscriptions to your services when you neither prevented PC Security 09 from downloading nor were you able to remove it when I ran both the quick scan and the indepth scan.  Seriously.  I just had to pay an additional $40 to another company (pctools.com)  to get the damn program removed.  See if I renew anything next year you jackasses.

Sincerely,

Another satisfied customer

Priceline?

So I'm trying Priceline.com out to see if I can find a better rental car rate.  In the line where I name my own price, I named a price per day I wanted.  The site countered with two new prices (good and great) because mine was unlikely to be accepted.  The two new prices are the exact prices I'm getting quoted already from the car companies.  How is this a deal?

Typepad

Now that the "Categories" dropdown is over on the right side when creating a post, I regularly forget to put in a category.  It was so much easier for me the old way.

New Page

I hate websites that open a new window when you click on a link.  (This includes on my own blog where thanks to blogger's blog list tool it does that and there's no way to fix it that I can tell.)

Facebook with Benefits

So, one of the downsides to Facebook is that you can click on a friend's photo album and the first picture that comes up shows an unexpected face that makes you say, "Oh yeah, I slept with that dude."

I Have Never Hated Teeth More

On almost every website I've visited in the past month or so there has been an ad for Cathy's teeth.com, the secret to whiter teeth. 

Don't stop me now. On a roll.

I understand that Facebook and Twitter are the shit at the moment but really Office Depot, you think that someone will have a burning desire to add binder rings to their Facebook page? I'd love to see the web analytics on that.

A Bad Street View

Dear Google,

The next time you're going to send a vehicle through my neighborhood to take pictures for you Street View function, could you give me a little advance notice?  I would prefer that I had a chance to mow and trim the lawn and maybe prune the rosebush out front.  I think I'd like to present as flattering a picture as possible to the 1,600,000,000 people in the world that use the internet.  I'm vain that way.  Thanks for your consideration of this request.

Sincerely,

Red

I Suck.

I am addicted to "Bowling Buddies" on Facebook but I can't can stop throwing splits.

Phone System Peeve, The Sequel

Actually, it's not a sequel so much as it is a remake of the same exact peeve I know I have complained about before and that Joanne has complained about, too.

I get that sometimes I will have to be on hold for a long time, and I am equipped to deal with that. However, every single time they interrupt the tinny hold music to say, "Please stay on the line and we will be with you in a moment," or, "Your call is very important to us. Please remain on the line and a representative will be with you in a moment," - both of which are outright lies - it makes me exponentially more irritated than the last time I heard it.

Update:

FUCK YOU, DOCTOR'S OFFICE!

Called the main number and was told to press 6 for Billing. Pressing 6 did nothing, so I went to the main operator and asked for Billing. She transferred me and I sat on hold for 26 minutes. Someone answered and I explained why I was calling.

Her: "Ok, let me transfer you to billing and they will take care of this for you."

Me: "WHAT?! What number have I been on?!"

Her: "This is Customer Service. I promise there won't be a wait for Billing."

Me: "I ASKED for Billing."

Her: "I'm so sorry. They transferred you to the wrong number. I promise there won't be a wait."

Ring, motherfucking ring.

Billing: "This is Billing, can you please hold?"

Me: [steaming in silence]

Billing: "Hello?"

Me: "Yes?"

Billing: "Can you please hold?"

Me: "Sure." Why the fuck not.

Wait for a very short time.

Billing: "How can I help you?"

Me: "The last time I was in you guys charged me a copay and you shouldn't have since it was for a well-baby visit."

Billing: "WE didn't charge you a copay, the medical office did."

Me: "FINE! WHATEVER! I WAS CHARGED A COPAY WHEN I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN!" Fuck!

Then the call was resolved to my satisfaction in a reasonable amount of time so I didn't totally lose my shit.

RE: FWD: Republicans can bite me.

As the commie-pinko-bedwetter in a family of old school Republicans I am used to being oppressed for my beliefs of free love and feed the poor and hug trees and all that.  My mother has been stepping up the oppression for the last two to three weeks with her forwards about the stimulus plan. Now I admit there are parts of it I'm not thrilled with (the parts that relate to my real job for example) and truthfully I'm not 100% certain the stimulus package is the right thing to do.  But I kind of view the whole thing as what's done is done and now let's move on. 

Should Have Read the Instructions

I spent many hours recently uploading one and a half books on CD onto Itunes.  One of the books had 20 cds!  Each CD had somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 chapters which each got an entry.  I was moving all of this over to my iPod when I noticed they weren't going into the audiobooks bucket. I couldn't figure out why.  iTunes apparently presumes you are only downloading audiobooks from Audible and not uploading your own audiobooks so they provide no assistance.  Upon doing a simple google search I discovered everything I needed to do to make this right.  Fortunately it isn't that difficult.  Unfortunately it required me to delete the already loaded audiobooks.  Guess what fun thing I'll be doing this weekend.  

Two Technical Troubles

1.  I do not have administrative rights to my work computer.  As a result of being upgraded to Office '07 I have needed an add-in and a hotfix.  I cannot do either to my computer so I have to contact Helpdesk to set up a time for them to login and blah blah blah.  So annoying.

2.  Since I am a user of Yahoo Briefcase which will be defunct March 30th I have to find a new space for my docs.  I have a gmail account, someone suggested Google Docs so I am making that transition. However, there is no easy way of doing this.  I have to download the docs from Yahoo (every time having IE reject the first download because "IE has prevented this download just in case") save them someplace on my desktop and then upload them to Google Docs. 

Organizationally Challenged

Dear Microsoft,

I just got Office07.  Is your newer file organization system really an improvement when I have to take 2 extra steps to get to the right network file folder now?  Really?  It is?  Huh.

Sincerely, Laura

It really could just be me.

Is it just me, or is Blogher's site really confusing?

Happy Freaking Birthday and Yes, I'll Be There

I have two peeves in one today.

I am not pleased about the whole birthday wall post thing on Facebook. I am considering paying someone to build an application that automatically generates a witty and clever Happy Birthday wall post for your friends. (My birthday is not visible on my profile so that I save my "friends" from this anguish.)

I am also tired of Evite RSVP pressure. My friends tend to all have very smart and funny responses to Evites and sometimes I just want to say that I'll be there without having to think too hard.

I am so lazy.

Lame

Not only am I sitting at home playing solitaire on my computer on a Friday night but I am highly irritated about the fact that this solitaire game doesn't tell me when I don't have any moves left. I could theoretically sit here all night shuffling through this one stupid deck of cards until I felt like dealing again. Lame.

Suck it, IBM

My crappy ThinkPad bit it and I had to replace the hard drive and now I'm in the process of rebuilding my computer and adjusting all of the settings and it is painstaking to say the least.

Courtesy, my ass!

All day I've been wondering why my office isn't receiving emails. I checked everything I could think of and then called support.  The guy said that my office's domain registration had expired three days ago. 

I expressed kindly to the helpful man in India that I would have appreciated a notice about the expiration of the domain name, especially since I receive renewal notices for the other three products I have with them.  

I was getting ready to write a nastygram the company when I noticed in the account history that two years ago I had approved the transfer of the domain registration to a subcontractor or third party or something, and they have 22 pages of terms and conditions. 

One of the terms includes, "While we may send out renewal notices as a courtesy you are solely responsible for timely and valid renewals" and "You shall not make any complaint or challenge against" the company.  I know, I know, I agreed to it and I didn't read all 22 fucking pages, I just handed them money, and I probably suck at my job, but this optional courtesy is fucking bullshit. 

Buggy

I do not like the Gmail widget for iGoogle. It is buggy and halfway through doing most things, I have to launch the full Gmail program. Annoying.