The Peevery

Use Your Own Damn Email Address!

I have a fairly basic email address at one of the largest free email providers. I am constantly inundated with email that is meant for someone else but that someone else has entered my email address instead of theirs because either (a) they don't want spam or (b) they are idiots. This has manifested itself in many annoying ways, such ways as random emails to a group of people I've never heard of, to multiple insurance quotes from some comparison website, to subscriptions to e-newsletters.

This latest one took the cake, though: one email received welcoming me to a tax-filing website with "my" username and security question, followed shortly thereafter by a password reminder email with the password right in it. Yep - I was given the login details for someone else's tax return. Naturally, the email came from a no-reply address and had no unsubscribe option. I had to login to this idiot's tax return account (which had financial information already entered in it) and take out my email address from the profile! He's just lucky that I'm not an identity thief. Seriously, how stupid can you be?

Where Are They?

I pulled a bunch of pictures off my camera onto my computer. But for some reason, my Photoshop Elements does not recognize them. I open a folder and there they are. I open the same folder in Photoshop and they've disappeared.

That Path Is For Your Steps Alone

I decided to clear off some of the many DVD's that are hogging shelf space. Step 1: Buy a 1 TB hard drive. Check. Step 2: Download a DVD ripper. Check. I started to rip the DVDs to the hard drive. Holy cow, it takes forever! Like 10-15 minutes for one episode of Rockford, and about 20 minutes for a Columbo. This is a colossal pain in the behind. I thought I would simply load the DVD, push a button, and just like dragging a file in Windows, it would be saved on my hard drive. Yikes. Might have to re-think this plan.

Overkill

Groupon. I like to see the daily deals for my city.  What I'm already tired of (and have unsubscribed from but apparently it can take a little while) is Grouponicus, Groupon goods, Groupon travel, Groupon everything except Groupon Fort Worth.  It is too much. They're drowning me in Groupons! Also the word "Grouponicus" makes me want to punch someone.

Premium Services

Somehow I keep getting signed up for premium services for my cell phone. I don't recall signing up for anything. This is the THIRD time.  So now I've had a block put on, except this means I can't download new apps. That's fine. Obviously they are all just pissing me off anyway.

It's a lie. Size really does matter.

Dear Douchey Colleague,

Thank you so much for clogging up my email by sending a 45MB file. Really, I have nothing better to do than watch my send/receive creep up 1KB at a time. My boobs will be sagging down to my knees by the time your email finally comes through.

Sincerely,

Juice

My New password is "$uck!t"

For security purposes, we are all having to change our network passwords to ones that meet new criteria, including at least three of the following: uppercase letter, lowercase letter, numerical character and non-alphanumeric character. Passwords can only be changed once within a day, must be at least eight characters long and cannot have been used as one of the previous ten passwords.

When I was prompted to change my password, the system rejected my first three attempts, saying they did not meet the criteria (although each was a password I have never used and contained all four of the required elements). The password that was finally accepted worked until my computer went into sleep mode. At that point, the system rejected my password as incorrect. My IT department issued a temporary password and I had to wait a day to change it. The following day I repeated the process (i.e., multiple viable passwords rejected, new password accepted, new password rejected upon computer locking, IT issued temporary password). Yesterday I tried to fill out two forms on our intranet, only to get messages saying the password was incorrect. I called IT to report the problem. Their advice was to change my network password again. The online forms didn't accept the new password, and this morning I could not log in to the network, so IT advised me to change my password again.

The good news is that I will soon be able to re-use the password I created two weeks ago, since I am already on my sixth password and the restriction only applies to reusing the past ten. 

 

Our Not-So-Friends

Today Facebook suggested I befriend a former work nemesis, the ex-boyfriend I charitably call "Creepy Little Icky Guy," and my husband's ex-wife. How does it know me so well?

Save it!

Politicians...you want me to vote for you in the Presidential election next year?  There is an issue that everyone has lived with for too long that needs to be addressed.  

That's right, you need to END DAYLIGHT SAVINGS.  Or maybe keep it.  

Either way, if you can get Congress to stop making me change the damn clock twice a year, I will vote for you.  

Let's be honest, we're not actually saving any time when the clocks move around.  If we are, we spend it just as quickly as it accumulates...kind of like the cash in my savings account.

 

Error: Incorrect Login

The university that I'm teaching at this semester requires three separate logins and passwords for each of the different information systems on campus. One login is an intuitive, logical combination of my first and last names. The other two are different 16 and 20 digit user IDs and system-generated unchangeable passwords. This doesn't even count the separate login and password to use the campus wireless. I think it would be easier to hack into the CIA than it would be to post exam grades.  

Batteries not included

I chose the lamest post title ever because I think it was some weird robot movie. Anyway, apparently I cause all batteries to leak acid. First, my Maglite batteries leaked and ruined my flashlight. Then, my silent clock woke me one night making strange staccato ticking sounds. I turned on the light and discovered the battery had leaked acid, causing the interior workings of the clock to go haywire and levers were clicking and clacking and going crazy. Also, I have to change the battery in my computer mouse VERY frequently. I'm beginning to think that my aura has some strange effect on batteries. Oh, and I also shock myself when the weather is dry CONSTANTLY. The other day, I shocked myself on my office chair, which I swear is PLASTIC.

Reach out and touch THIS.

(submitted by Blaugra's husband, who speaks in all-caps, always.)

DEAR VERIZON:

PLEASE DON'T TEXT MY WIFE'S CELL PHONE TO TELL ME THAT THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HOUSE PHONE WHEN YOU KNOW I CAN'T CALL YOU TO TELL YOU TO "SUCK IT."

SINCERELY,

SALTY D., A.K.A. HUSBAND OF BLAUGRA

 

No explanation

I don't like it when parents give their babies or children their cell phones to play with. Why? Do I not like the idea of baby slobber on a phone? Do I think the kid will accidentally call 911? Do I just hate children and think they don't deserve a grown-up phone? I have absolutely no idea why it irks me. But I cringe every time I see it. I feel ashamed of this peeve since it has no basis in logic.

411 is a joke in your town

Why do I still get phone books delivered to my house?  They go straight into the recycle bin.  I should have to opt into delivery, not opt out.

Also, why do 411 operators still exist?  I know that there are some people who use this service (and pay a fee for it) when the exact same information is sitting on their desk in a mysterious grey box right next to the phone they just used to call information.  

How is this better, Bill Gates?

For about 20 years or so, I've been using MS Word. There are only a few functions I don't know how to use.  Why the "geniuses" at Microsoft decided to fuck around with the software is beyond me.* 

Hey, your entire industry uses the form toolbar?  Guess what? Not anymore, bitch!  You know where everything is on the menus?  Think again, sucker!

What used to take me 10 minutes to do, now takes me 30 because I have to spend time trying to figure out how to see the goddamn gridlines in a table!  

Oh, and that Calibri font makes my eye twitch. 

 

*Yes I know I'm 4 years late in this peeve, but there's obviously a reason I've resisted the upgrade for so long. It sucks donkey balls.

Unconnected.

Good: I was on vacation last weekend.

Bad: I was on vacation last weekend in an area that had spotty cell service.

Good: I'm on vacation again, starting at 5pm today.

Bad: Starting tomorrow morning, I'm driving to a not-my-family family reunion at a lake, where there will be a billion people I have to meet and, probably, spotty cell service.

You'd think all this unconnectiveness (wha?) would help break my addiction but instead it's making me very sad.

Say hat?

I'm typig ths poston y wrees keyboard. Dsite havin chanethe batteries,sprayed with the degkntuff you spray thekeyboards with, an eking tht th USB thingy iatthed ecury, the keybodhs eced to ranomly crapout on me.

'm ointo have to uy a newonewith my ow money bause hey, didyou hear? Its an expese year.

(Translation, as typed from the teeny keyboard on my laptop:

I'm typing this post on my wireless keyboard. Despite having changed the batteries, sprayed with the degunking stuff you spray the keyboards with, and checking that the USB thingy is attached securely, the keyboard has decided to randomly crap out on me.

I'm going to have to buy a new one with my own money because hey, did you hear? It's an expense year.)

If I let the keyboard rest for a bit, it will be just fine again, which proves she's just a fickle bitch.

Let Me Hear You Make Some Noise!

The Payroll Manager has the office on the other side of the wall from me. All day long, he shreds things, and his shredder is frikkin' loud. It's like the wail of a cheap handmixer. It's not loud enough, however, to cover up the other cringeworthy sounds coming out of his office.

Repost This

Dear People I know on Facebook,

All of those stupidass "repost this if you agree" status updates don't really accomplish anything except clutter up people's feeds.  Please stop them. This includes those "funny" ones about being aware of dragons or pastafarians or whatever.

Thank you,

Grouchy FB Friend

Press 1 for "Suck It"

I have noticed that almost every one of those automated phone answers say something like this:

Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed.

I have no idea whatever they may have been before, so why include that sentence?  I think it is a weird thing to say.

Regression

Suddenly my mother is like a fourteen year old kid with their first facebook account. In the span of twelve minutes I got fourteen posts on my wall from the "Friend Fighting Quiz" and from "Friends <3." My response - block them all!

Call Center Woes

If I call customer service and type in my 16 digit card number then why in the holy hell do I have to verbally repeat it once an actual human gets on the line?

My Server Is An Idiot

I have previously detailed the new fun I'm having with work systems. Apparently that's only the first of many battles. This past weekend, our facility migrated all of our systems to the new owner's servers.  This is supposed to help everything at our facility work more efficiently. Also, I suspect, it will make it that much easier to close this building and move our functions to corporate headquarters, but that's a different story.

As you may be able to guess, this server migration is not working that well, and by "not working that well" I mean "not working at all, and possibly depriving me of my right to vote because I might cross state lines to commit a felony on these new servers and their masters". 

Supersize Me

I can't find a nice small cell phone like my old Motorola V-66. 

I don't want a touch screen. 

I don't need to play games or surf the internet or watch videos on my cell phone.

I don't have any apps.

I don't want a smart phone or I-phone the size of a paperback.

I want a small phone that fits easily into my pocket that I can use to make the occasional call.  Text message OK but not required.

Sour Grapes - Rodeo Edition

I have finished my first semester of grad school and wanted to spend this weekend doing a ton of fun things. At the Stockyards here in Fort Worth they have rodeos every Friday and Saturday night. Fun and maybe an opportunity to meet available men, right? Paypal, their payment method, will not accept any of my debit cards. Good thing I didn't want to go anyway. It's probably lame and the whole thing will be full of tourists and buckle bunnies anyway.

No Power, No Common Sense

After thunderstorms blew through this morning, I lost electricity. These are the things that went through my head:

I guess I'll just do some laundry then.

Why is the light in the refrigerator not working?

I suppose I'll just make some coffee and use my book light to read.

If I take a shower, will the water be hot?

Here's the problem - I'm dumb. All of those things involve electricity, including my hot water heater. I can't function without electricity it seems. Thankfully my ancestors were a lot more resourceful than me.

Systems Overload

One year ago, the company I worked for had three different computer systems/applications that I used regularly to do my job.  Since we were taken over by our new corporate owners, I am required to use those three systems/applications, plus another SEVEN brand spanking new-to-me systems/applications.  Apparently, there could be up to three more that I'll have to learn about in the next few months.  I am seriously considering writing down all of my logon/passwords somewhere for sheer sanity's sake, even though I know that's bad security.  Eventually, I will do nothing at work but sign into systems and applications, and then go running to a meeting.  Is this the yellow brick road to middle management?  Yay!

iMoron Playlist

I like the Genius Playlist function on my iPod, but disagree that "Darling Nikki" from "Purple Rain" and "The Goofy Goober Song" from the SpongeBob movie belong together, since they both come from soundtracks.

Passive-Aggressive Greenies

I hate the little notes people put at the bottom of their emails: "Please think about the environment before printing this out." I'll print it out if I think I need it. I won't if I don't. Reminding me to think about the environment just annoys me and almost makes me want to print it out of spite.

What Kind of Hole Is That?

I brought in my GPS to download an update since, as Michelle and others and I have learned, it is confused about some places. I thought the little cable it took was a USB 2.0 cable like I use on my camera. It is not.  I have no idea what this little shape is. So it still doesn't know where to go.

Catch Up!

I have to enter a lot of data into a variety of online databases. I use the keypad for all my numeric entry. I am faster than the databases. This means I frequently have dates entered like 11/32/010, instead of the correct 11/03/2010, which the system kicks out.  Or I have a social security number that is short three digits. I need these databases to accept data more quickly because it is seriously annoying me.  

Crash Into Me

Last Friday, I sent our company IT department a ticket for a new computer, because mine has been crashing repeatedly. IT sent me a confirmation notice with a link to monitor the ticket status.

Today I clicked the link to see how things were progressing.

And that’s what caused my computer to crash again.

Tifaux Is Not The Same

When I was first introduced to DVR it was through Peeved Michelle who had Tivo. When I moved I signed up for Charter's DVR service. It isn't the same as Michelle's glorious Tivo. It doesn't recognize that my show has changed time slots and pick it up. It sometimes stops recording shows I want it to catch. It doesn't record things it thinks I might like to introduce me to new shows. I may have to go to DirectTv.

No Loyalty Here

I strong-armed my husband into buying me a Kindle for my birthday a year and a half ago (when they were over $300.) I have had nothing but love for it since then. Until today.

My friend showed me her Nook. It's got color. It's pretty, and all touch-screen. I want one.

I'm pretty sure between Verizon trotting out the iPhone and now this, my husband may strangle me and not be charged because of my fickleness.

Get with the program.

Every time I go to a particular hospital, they ask me "...and you're employed by 123 Company? And you have your insurance though them?"

No, I say, I left 123 Company and their insurance plan eight years ago. I'll give you my current insurance card, for the twentieth flippin' time.

"Let me just update that field in our system..." type type type

I inquire, ever so patiently, why is it that every time I've come here, during the past eight years, the same field has to be updated?

"Oh, I don't know."

Then, after the claim is processed, I get a nastygram in the mail from my insurance company who thinks I have two employers and two health care plans and that I'm double dipping because the darn field in their system is still not updated.

Is This Match.com?

I have my resume up on careerbuilder.com.  Periodically I get an email from them, "Joanne, your resume has been viewed!  See who it is by upgrading to our blah blah blah membership!" When did careerbuilder become a dating site?

I advocate a low tech lunch.

12:30 in the afternoon is not an appropriate time to be sitting alone at a 4 seater at the cafe, tapping away on a laptop. This guy had no food and no one came to sit with him the whole time I was there, so I consider him just a waste of space. The cafe doesn't even have WiFi.

It's Not The "Best" Buy If I Can't Buy Anything

My grandmother died on Christmas Eve.  As a result, I spent the last week in Virginia visiting my Mom's side of the family and attending various funeral-related events.  I stayed at my Grandpa's house and was subjected to the frustration that is his seven-year-old computer.  It seriously has Microsoft Office 97 on it (not that it works).  I did a couple of things to help his computer speed up and stop giving him memory warnings when he wanted to open a new Internet window, but that machine is on its death bed.  Since email is the primary way that my Grandpa stays in contact with my sisters and I (and fills our inbox with anti-Obama rant forwards), I convinced my sisters to go in with me to buy him a new laptop as a belated Christmas present.  The thing is, I start my job next week, so I don't have a paycheque yet.  My older sister is raising four kids on her husband's mediocre salary.  One of my other sisters has to raise her own salary so she's not rolling in it, and my third sister just started her first real job and things are tight.  So we can all afford to put in a little, but nothing extravagant.

Best Buy has had various web deals in the last week that involve perfectly decent laptops for $300.  All Grandpa needs is something that will run Internet Explorer and Microsoft Office - when I asked if he played video games, he said "well, I do play Solitaire sometimes."  Every time I try to order one of these "hot deals" laptops, I get to the shipping part and none of them are available for shipping.  So the other option is to pick it up in the store.  Except that none of them are available for pickup in any Best Buy store in the Richmond area.  In other words, Best Buy doesn't actually have any of these laptops that they're hawking on their website.  And since I haven't lived in the US since I was 11 years old, I don't have the first clue of where else to look for a computer that doesn't cost more than $350.  I just want to do something nice for my newly-widowed Grandpa!  Sheesh.

I Tried That!

I get that not everyone tries the online solutions, troubleshooting or tips when they have a problem with a service.  However, it peeves me when I explain to a CCR "I tried the online instructions first and it didn't work" and then get told "We have an extensive library of online blahblahblah."  Yeah, been there, done that.  Didn't work. That's why I'm bothering YOU!

Merry Webmas!

We moved to England two months ago.  For the first five weeks, we lived with my husband's parents while he nailed down a job and we found a flat.  His parents have the crappiest Internet in the world (usually 1 out of 5 bars).  So we endured five weeks of bad Internet.  We've now been at our flat for nearly three weeks and only yesterday did our router arrive (though BT happily took 120 pounds out of our account as soon as we ordered Internet).  Since we live in a fairly small village, it's not like I could walk down to the closest cafe with Wifi.  So after two months of life in the UK, we now have full Internet access.  I can't believe that in 2010, Internet can be so hard to come by.

Anyway, now that I'm back online, I can peeve and read peeves, so Merry Christmas to me!

Reply to you all

Among the many annoying bugs in the Gmail widget for iGoogle is fact that when you reply to all, it sends your reply to you, even if you remove yourself from the distribution list. It was fixed for a while but it has returned like the Ghost of Irritating Bugs Past.

Fraud Magnet, Part II

Mastercard may be smart. PayPal on the other hand, not so much.

A few days ago I realized that someone had broken into my Paypal account.  Some hacker bought an unlocked iphone on Ebay at the going rate of $759 and had it sent to an address in Florida. WTF?! I quickly called PayPal to notify them that the transaction was fraud and to stop payment, but PayPal said it was too late and that the money had already been wired to the seller's account. This all occured in less than a day.  With my PayPal account linked to my NY address, you'd think the Florida address would have raised some red flags. Now I'm temporarily out a big chunk of change, had to change passwords on all of my online accounts and am weary of any future online shopping.

 

Fraud Magnet, Part I

I got a call a couple of weeks ago from my credit card company asking if I had written a check for $4000 to someone named Robert Long. I told them HELL NO and to not let that check be cashed. It seems Mr. Long (assuming he wrote the check) had gotten a hold of one of those promotionl checks that credit card companies send in the mail and figured he'd have himself a payday on my account. Thank goodness Mastercard was smart enough to verify before releasing any bucks.

All may be settled with the card company but I'm still pretty pissed off. I'd like to find this Robert Long and give him hell.

Use your common sense

I am so tired of reading articles or seeing "news" segments about how annoyed everybody is with Facebook's privacy policies. Here's a tip: Don't use Facebook if you find it so egregious. If you're worried about your Mom knowing that you're hung over, either don't post that you're hung over or don't be friends with your Mom.

Facebook is a business that provides a service. If you can't figure out how their services work and steer clear of anything you're not comfortable with, it's your own damn fault. And if you assume that anything you post in a public forum (even if you're only talking to yourself) is not going to be used by them for the purpose of making money, you're naive. It's a little scary that everything we put on the internet is subject to distribution (with our permission or without it) but that's the world we live in and people need to make decisions about their own privacy based on that.

Looking for some action

You know what I have to say about all the people up in arms about traveling tomorrow, and the worries and anxiety they have over the TSA shit? Bring it on mothers! I'd like to order the full body 3-D x-ray scanner, with a side of full body pat down grabby grab (hopefully by a nice looking TSA man). That would be the most action I have received in about three months. Sadly, I'm guessing there is some kind of rule prohibiting a male to do any of the grabby grab.

I'll be watching my stories.

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I don't see any use in the new Internet-ready televisions I see advertised. I have a computer and phone if I really want to access the Internet. Why can't a t.v. just be for watching t.v.?

I'm not that Nikki

It amazes me how many emails I get in my Gmail for other people with my name. They are seemingly legit emails about important things like work schedules and board meetings. I sometimes reply with "wrong Nikki" but most of the time I just trash it and block the sender.

 

I Guess Cell Phone =/= Brain Cell

Dear Rogers Wireless,

If you have an automated directory with a specific option for canceling my service and I select that option, I should not be put on hold for 29 minutes before getting through to a live person only to be told that the cancellations department is closed for the day.  Further, when I call back the next day, I should be able to give you 29 days notice instead of 30 since you wasted my time.  So thanks for wasting my time AND charging me for an extra day of service.

You suck and I'm so glad I won't be dealing with you again.

Sincerely,

Nickled-and-dimed-and-pissed

Who Said Computer Geeks Aren't Cute?

I was furious when I found out my computer problem came down to calling Microsoft. Not only do I hate calling customer service, but knowing that I could be on this call for hours really chapped my ass. When I was finally transferred to the right person, I was in a horrible mood, and rather rude. However, Amrik was very polite to me, even when he knew I was too dumb, and therefore had to "take control over my computer." After several minutes of awkward silence, we began to talk about where we were calling from. He is from India. Being that he had I had to share my computer with him, he had to send me an email confirming. This email included Amrik's last name. So naturally, I attempt to look him up on Facebook. I almost fell out of my effing chair - he is probably one of the most attractive men I have ever seen. His profile is public, so I got to see everything. Shit, my frown turned upside down quickly. Sadly, flirting on the phone with a tech from India isn't very glamorous. So, I'm thinking about stalking friending him on FB. Maybe, just maybe, he'll be my 'Eat Pray Love' adventure someday.

DVD WTF

I bought the first season of Glee on DVD right after it came out a few weeks ago. I finally sat down to watch it this morning. I put the first five DVDs into the player, and watched the first disc. I was going to start the second, but it wouldn't work.

I tried it in all five disc slots. Zilch. I tried it in the player in my room - no dice. I gave up and moved on to disc 3, only to find out the episodes that are supposed to be on disc 2 are on disc 3.

So now I'm wondering if the rest of the DVDs are screwed up, and if I'll be missing any further episodes.