The Peevery

Literally*

How many people that regularly say, "It's a Catch-22!" have actually read the novel?   

(*yes, I'm just taunting Jo with this title.)

Ignorance Is Not a Badge of Honor

If you don't understand how you can effectively use Web 2.0 applications and social media as marketing tools to encourage user engagement with your web site and promote your brand, maybe you shouldn't be in this business. Mocking said applications and networks to another professional does not inspire confidence in your abilities.

(Please note that this does not apply to The Peevery because I don't give a shit about user engagement or promoting my brand. I only care about promoting my ASS in your FACE.)

(Please note that I don't even care about promoting my ass in your face but that I was momentarily inhabited by the spirit of a nine-year-old boy who made type that, you RETARD BUTTLICKER.)

(Please note that I am now going to bed as I appear to have completely lost my shit.)

Use It Correctly!

I literally will kill the next person who literally uses "literally" incorrectly in a sentence.  When did it become the go-to word?

Say What?

If you are going to leave a frickin' long winded message and wait until the end to give your phone number, either say it clearly or say it twice. I don't want to have to listen to the whole goddam thing again to figure out what the number is.

Open Peeve Friday

We have one lonely little peeve this week from MiseryHatesCompany.

If you are going to take the time to call my office to get a phone number for whatever agency you need to talk to, have a pen - pencil - some type of writing utensil at the ready! 

Or when you say you need a minute to find something to write on or complain that you can't write something down while talking on the phone and driving I may actually laugh out loud.

Eat it.

Sometimes it's just a big fucking pain in the ass to dine with friends who are vegetarians.

I hope I don't run into you at that pizza place we both like.

Dear fellow hometown Yelper:

This is not an useful, cool or funny review: "I've never been here but I hear it's good." 

It's not useful at all to see that review duplicated more than 50 times on more than 50 places. 

And you're one of those "first" people, so you're "first" on almost every thing you've Yelped about. Uncool. 

- blaugra

More Forgiving?

I was talking to a male friend recently and I asserted that women are more forgiving about physical flaws in their men than men are in their women.  I suppose you could even make that argument about homosexuals too actually. What do you all think? 

Mean Thoughts

I don't think my friend is that attractive and she is kind of abrasive, so how is it she gets dates and I don't?

Going to Hell

So, the father of a sorta-friend/acquaintance of mine passed away this weekend, completely unexpectedly.

The sorta-friend/acquaintance of mine updated his MySpace status to let people know that his father "pasted away."

See? Hell.