Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know it's not Friday. Don't you all get your panties in a wad as you look at the Peeves of Yore on a Monday. It's my fault, people. So, sue me. For those of you who can handle a bit of change for the week, please enjoy my Peeves of Yore Friday, on Monday...
It has been unseasonably warm the past few days here. While I shouldn't complain about my floor to ceiling windows (and door) to the outside world, I do have a major gripe. It gets hotter than the devil's undies up in this mug during the day. I can't wait until mid-August when it's so hot the meth heads are feigning for ice. Complaining about the nice weather in February seems a bit dramatic, I know. Which is a great lead into my weekly PoY introduction...
Drama, drama, drama. Do you know friends or acquaintances who thrive and feign and scrape their claws as they pretend to fall off of a cliff, all in an effort to always be in a state of drama and/or chaos? I don't know about you, but I just can't deal with that monkey business. I'm already busy enough being a (for the most part) normal, contributing member of society. To me, it takes too much time, energy, frowns, furrowing of the brow (resulting in wrinkles), negative thoughts, words, etc... I'm already exhausted just writing about it! Well, as I sit here and contemplate on the past week (oh hell, the past couple of months), I realize that even though I have not been directly involved in the drama of someones bat shit crazy life, I am exhausted from being indirectly involved! Seriously, those who had to deal with it on a daily basis must have aged two-fold. Truth be told, while there are a million things per day that I could peeve about, I'd rather find the humorous side of negativity, than pour a thick layer of constant bat shit crazy chaos on my friends and family. To those of you who may or may not be reading this, who find enjoyment out of spinning out of control...this peeve's for you, sucka! Hey, smile! Because we're all laughing at your silliness...
That being said, I would like to dedicate this weeks PoY to <drum roll> <gong> <snare drum> <cow bell> <Mariah Carey hitting the high note> Oh, sorry, that was probably a wee bit of a chaotic and dramatic introduction to... BIGGEST PEEVE EVER - Crazy people! Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Yahooooooooooooooo(Oops, overboard again?)
Well, well, well... Karla Kay seems to think contracting a VD would be less painful than mosh pitting with a bunch of horned up women wishing and hoping and thinkin' and praying for their chance at being the next in line for marital bliss! You know what? You're right. I'd rather piss my pants from a UTI while someone is kicking me in the FUPA, than go through that hot mess of a "tradition." Single ladies unite!
Looky, looky, it looks like Nursepez has run into one of those "drama queens." Thankfully, now-a-days, if the only interaction with that person is on Facebook or Twitter or Google+ or the other million social media sites they subscribe to so they reach the maximum number of "well wishers," I have one word (thank God, too - what would we do without this word?): DEFRIEND. Or in ancient world terms, "Sayonara, sucka!"
My PoY excerpts have been a bit longer than usual. Nikki reminded me that they can be short, simple, and to the point - no dramatization needed. This one needs no introduction, and is definitely the cherry on a drama filled chaos sandwich (sam-itch *wink).
We've all heard they exist, most of us have experienced an encounter with one, and some of us acutally listen to what they have to say. But, very very few of us actually take action and kick them in the FUPA and tell them to shut the hell up and share the oxygen with the rest of the people on the effing planet. Pretty sure Blaugra has envisioned herself kicking one in the FUPA before. Hell, I wouldn't put it past her to kick, turn around, and run like hell laughing hysterically. I know I have (one can only dream) would.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I do believe we have found our peevery chatty Cathy. That award goes to none other than a former Peever - Putnawa! Seriously, I'm totally with you on the situation in general, but I wanted to kick myself in the FUPA when I got done reading it. I kid, I kid - I'd want to kick Sprint in the FUPA for causing you to be dubbed chatty windbag for the day!
I hope this PoY made you forget that it is Monday. Acutally, I really hope you get done reading this and think, "Hell yes, bitches! It's Frrrriiiiiidaayyyyyyyyy, and i'm out like a boner in sweat pants!" If that's what you thought after reading this, I'm not sorry. I'd actually think that was pretty funny. Sucka! Peace.

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