I'm not an ass.

My last name ends with the letters "us." 

It is pronounced like "us." I pronounce it like "us" when I meet people.

I am forever being pronounced with an "ass" on the end.

I am forever being misspelled with "as" instead of "us." 

Recently, I sent a donation somewhere using the old fashioned check with a letter and envelope through the mail.  My last name appeared typed on the check, on the letter in two places, and on my return address.

In response I got a very nice thank you-note addressed with "AS."  The flaky misspelling of names is one of my biggest peeves ever, and you have not heard the last of me on this topic.

It really does chap my ass.