Have a peeve? Send it in. peevedmichelle at yahoo dot com
Putnawa (former Peever!) has a peeve:
Sprint: The name of your company and what I will do to get away from you
Dear Sprint,
I've been a loyal customer for a long time. A very long time. Two transcontinental moves kind of long. I've purchased four phones from you. (It should only have been three, but I dropped one in a teeny, tiny cup of water once and it died and needed replacing.) I've upgraded my plan five times. I've paid extra charges -- while unemployed -- because I get bored and all kinds of Chatty Cathy before my free nights and weekends begin. And I've done all this because your coverage is superb. Everywhere I go, in five different cities, I have coverage. Everywhere. Out in the toolie-berries where my parents live. Bargain basements in Boston. Concrete bunkers in the valleys of Seattle. In small, hole-in-the-wall restaurants where NONE of my friends have ever had coverage, I still get the super-important texts about where everyone is going to meet up later to drink and dance.
Sure, your customer service is run by sadistic monkeys who only hire mental patients with bad attitudes and not enough medication. Sure, there have been grievous billing errors that have taken up to seven months to correct. Yes, you even charged my recurring payment three times one month, making me end up having to pay a $34 overdraft charge on a $2 parking meter charge because I foolishly thought the $100 in my account would get me through the 24 hours until payday and so didn't transfer money from savings that day. And I had to badger you into giving me the discount I deserved as a LOYAL FUCKING CUSTOMER when I needed to replace the aforementioned high-diving phone three weeks after signing a new two-year contract with you asshats.
So, now, how have you repaid my unswerving, irrational and pointless loyalty? Somehow, you've decided to make your coverage suck at the least opportune times known to man. First, I'm expecting a very important call for a contract position I'm supposed to start next week. The phone is in the optimal location for reception and convenience, and I'm sitting patiently on my couch. Not making sudden movements, nor wrapping my walls with copper wire and aluminum foil. My phone never rings. Fifteen minutes after the scheduled time, my voicemail indicator alerts me to a new voicemail. The gentleman called on time, and my phone never rang. When we finally connect on the phone, I am standing OUTSIDE ON MY BALCONY in the FREEZING COLD WIND, while it starts to rain, and halfway through our conversation my phone DROPS THE SIGNAL!
This is it, Sprint, I'm done. I'll be sprinting to the nearest iPhone or Google Android retail location as soon as my contract ends at the end of next month. My Christmas gift to you will be NOT shoving my piece of crap phone and every Sprint bill I've ever paid up some unlucky employee's ass the next time I walk by your store.
Heavily editedly yours,
A no-longer loyal customer.
Recent Comments