The Peevery

More Fees Please

Lawyers are expensive. I used an immigration attorney when I applied for my Green Card because I'd had some difficulties getting my original work visa and didn't want to mess with the scary INS. Besides the crazy INS filing fees, I ended up paying close to $4000 in fees to my attorney.

Since my application was based on a marriage that was less than 2 years old, I was given a conditional green card that was valid for 2 years. It just came up for expiration and my attorneys sent me a pleasant email asking me if I'd like them to file the petition to remove the conditions for the low price of $2000 plus filing fees.

I took a look at the INS website and realized that filing the petition involved one form and some supporting documentation like photos/lease/bank account info to prove that we're still married. I told the lawyer that I'd try to give it a shot on my own and if I ran into any difficulties, I'd call her.

It took about 5 minutes for me to fill out the form, 10 minutes to print out some pictures and a copy of our lease, a quick trip to the bank to get a cashier's check for the $550 filing fee and a trip to the post office to send the petition via certified mail. I am now staring at a shiny new green card. I would have been seriously pissed off if I had forked over $2k to have someone mail in some paperwork for me.

Picky Picky

I don't know why it peeves me so but I really hate when people have a zillion special requests for their $1 cheeseburger at fast food restaurants. Unless you're going to keel over dead if your lips touch a pickle, just pick the damn things off.

I'm sensitive to people with food allergies and restrictions but some of the random ordering at fast food places is just ridiculous.

Make Time

There's a big push this year by my GS parents to have more volunteer opportunities for the girls.  I'm down with that.  I'll find activities to do.  HOWEVER, if I'm busting my ass to find volunteer opportunities for the girls, they better damn well make time to get the girls to these opps.  I have one scheduled for this Sunday based on the girls' indications they could do it then. From the most vocal "let's do volunteer work" parent I just got an email saying that her daughter couldn't do it.  Why do I even bother?

Three things I need

• Rum, for hot mulled cider
• Birthday wrapping paper
• To take a shower, since I have a girly-parts doctor's appointment in about an hour

That's Not My Name

To whom it may concern:

I am inquiring if you could send something to me.

Sincerely, Ed

----------------------------------

Dear Ed:

Yes, I could send something to you.

Sincerely, Laura

---------------------------------

Dear Linda:

Great. I look forward to receiving your something! Thank you.

Sincerely, Ed

---------------------------------

Dear Dildo:

If you're going to ask me for something at least get my name right. It's right there in our email chain. You're like the 60th person to call me Linda and you've pushed me over the edge. Oh, Dildo isn't your name? I'm soooo sorry. There's a "d" in it so I thought I was close.

Sincerely, Laura a.k.a. Blaugra

PTSD: Post-Thanksgiving Stress Discussions

Please share your Thanksgiving peeves.  And yes, it's a given, coming back to work today (especially when it's a gross rainy Monday) just sucks. 

Erin, I know your post-Thanksgiving peeve already (turkey farts.)  That's pretty good, but here's mine:

My in-laws hosted Thanksgiving dinner. Their kitchen sink and dishwasher broke down right before we arrived. Also, their coffee maker exploded, splattering coffee grounds everywhere.  Thankfully, Mother-in-law asked us all to leave instead of helping with clean-up. I think because she was close to having a nervous breakdown about having to wash dirty turkey dishes in the bathtub and she wanted to do it privately.  Oh yeah, and the water pressure in the bathrooms wasn't so great either. Ew.

I've challenged you. Give it your best shot. I'm sure you can beat me.

Got the Blues

Peeve #1: I was almost out the door this morning before I realized that my favorite pair of blue jeans - the ones that have already had the inner thigh/crotchal area patched once - had grown new holes around the patches.

Peeve #2: I pulled them off and realized they're hopeless. Patching will extend their time here on earth, but without the quality of life they're used to.

Luckily, I had purchased a new pair of jeans the other week that I had not detagged yet. I often get buyer's remorse, so these had been sitting and waiting out their probation period. I pulled them on, pulled off the tags, and away we go.

Peeve #3: Stupid jeans that fit 4 hours ago are now a little too loose. Jeans ALWAYS stretch out just to the point where they're visibily too big to wear. And you'd think that buying smaller jeans would be the answer, except those never seem to stretch enough.

Peeve #4: And to top it all off, I'm still down a pair of jeans! When you wear them 5x a week to work, having 2 viable options doesn't quite cut it. Argh!

The Great Interview Experiment... Again

Last year, I participated in the Great Interview Experiment run by Neilochka on his Citizen of the Month blog. I interviewed Scott at fivetoedsloth and I was interviewed by Amy from Momentary Madness. I wasn't planning to participate this year, but Neil asked for people to fill in for interviewers who flaked out and I volunteered.

I interviewed girlvaughn and I encourage you to participate in the Great Interview Experiment.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman

I made a Face Book account, but I never use it.  I just did it so my sisters would stop saying, "You really need to get on Face Book.  It's great."

Over Thanksgiving I went back to my home town and ran into several people I had not seen in a long time.  When I tried to exchange phone numbers and e-mail addresses, each of them said, "Oh, I'll just find you on Face Book."  Thanks for the thought, but I don't swing that way.  I spend the whole work day sitting in front of a lap top, so I don't like to spend a lot of time surfing the web when I am on my own time.

Then again, maybe nobody wants to get in contact with me and that was the heave-ho, but I was too dumb to notice.

Two Words

Turkey farts

TPS Reports

I've got two bosses.  Neither of them has a complete understanding of international sales or what it is that I do on a daily basis.  So now. every time I do something they don't get - not wrong, just different from their preconceived notions of how things should work - I hear about it from two different people.  I have to tell two different people that I'm leaving for lunch, or taking a day off, or setting my cubicle on fire because that asshat from Turkey sent another screaming e-mail demonstrating his complete ignorance of our business. 

Sometimes I forget that my employer's name is not Initech.

Not Very Original

Last week Boss Lady came to me and asked if I had a print out of something. I did, of course, and she took it to make a copy.

Yesterday, however, I realized I had not received my original back from her. Since she's out, I went into her office to reclaim it. And there I found MY ORIGINAL tacked to her wall. Oh no she din't!

I took back what was righfully mine, but did make her a copy of it and stuck that in the original's place. I'm thinking I have about 6yrs before she even notices.

Really?

Someone told me that today is the busiest day in the U.S.

I must be a total loser because I'm not really busy. Then again, I am not hosting Thanksgiving this year, I'm not traveling any distance, I don't have kids, I don't have school, I don't have much shopping to do, I probably won't go out for Thanksdrinking Eve, and work lets out early (at least I have a job and for that I am thankful!)

WOW. I really AM a total loser!

Read My Palm

My right palm is really, really itchy.

What does that mean?

Amble On

I am fully aware that I live in kind of a bumpkin metro area. After all, we are only in the news if a restaurant serves deep-fried pizza or has its customers arrested for bailing on a gratuity charge.  We have new sidewalks, which are bigger news to us locals.

Across the street from the scene of the non-tipping crime is this recently "improved" sidewalk corner:

I can not tell you how many times I have tripped over that raised concrete triangle part, or how many moms with strollers have slammed their wheels into it. How is this an improvement for pedestrian traffic flow? What if the street were actually bustling with pedestrians instead of just handling maybe three walkers at one time? There would be a total jam. Hey, any city engineer types can weigh in here and explain this to me.

But even worse, this bumpy surface stuff:

 I can't walk on that, see how tentatively I am stepping on it? No matter how thick the soles on my shoes may be, the raised bumpy things totally kill my feet. Is this some kind of slip-prevention material?  Is it really necessary? I can't even navigate this intersection when I wear heels. It's a freakin' obstacle course.

For Lazy Humans

Unlike our beloved Peeve-mistress, I am totally not interested in participating in Black Friday early morning shopping madness. I will, however, cruise online for pre-Black-Friday doorbuster bargains.

This is one of the most ludicrous gift deals I've seen so far in Amazon's Home & Garden Black Friday Store.  More ludicrous than Chia Obama. 

The "FroliCat BOLT Automatic Laser Toy for Cats" is marked down 40% for Black Friday. It's for cats, did you get that? However, the video (yes, I had to watch it) demonstrates its use for dogs also.

It touts that you can entertain even the laziest cat with this toy, that you can lazily buy online. I'm a cat person, and while I don't think it's the suckiest item in Amazon's Black Friday store it's my pick for funniest.

Every kiss begins with Kay. And so does every creepy stalker...

My roommate and I love to watch really cheesy commercials. Jane Seymour's "open heart" design for Kay Jewelers was really up there with the cheese factor but have you seen their latest? A couple are in a Pine Lodge-looking hotel room or cabin whilst a storm rages outside. The woman is fake-startled by fake-thunder and the man grabs her and says, "I'm right here" and then whips out some bling and in a deep voice says, "And I always will be!" It's an odd mix of cheesy and creepy. It makes me simultaneously laugh and groan every time.

One is the loneliest number

I was thinking that I would take my kid to see The Princess and the Frog. I went on to the Disney site to find out more about the movie and discovered that they have a special thingy going on where you can go to Walt Disney Studios here in LA and watch the movie and then meet some of the characters afterwards. It's my idea of hell but we all make concessions for our children.

Tickets are a whopping $55.00 each but that didn't piss me off as much as the fact that "due to high demand, you are limited to 1 ticket". Now who the hell is going to buy one ticket to go and see a Disney cartoon? Idiots.

Why, Oh, Vaio?

Surely Sony could have come up with a better Vaio shill than talentless, classless, pointless Julia Allison?  The very sight of this fugly troll sends me into seven purple fits.

Don't Go Away Mad. Just GTFO.

Dear Really Important Person:

Guess what? You're only important in your head! So instead of saying a billion times, "I'm not contagious, I swear!" stay home and continue your recovery from swine flu instead of hacking a bunch in my meeting.

Thanks,

Hater

Left-laners Can Suck It

The left lane on the two-lane highway is not a personal lane for those who wish to talk on their phone and go whatever speed they'd like.

Get the fuck off the phone and get the fuck out of my way, asshat.

To Whom It May Concern:

Today I received in the mail a letter from a former employer.  This letter was notification that the 401k plan, which I still participate in, is shifting from one provider to another one.The envelope was addressed To: 

Max

Or Current Resident

What the hell?  I understand for catalogues, coupons, junk mail and the like but this was a letter, and not some Kroger pamphlet.  If I had moved away and sold my house or cancelled my lease and someone else moved in to my apartment, why would this company assume that the new occupant would have any interest in my 401k?  That makes about as much sense as mailing the results from an MRI to "Our Friends at 220 Pine St".  Of course, these are the same geniuses who kept paying me after I had left the company so I am not too surprised.

It's All Relative...Apparently

Neiman Marcus has a 4-page ad spread in the current In Style magazine.

The first page carries this copy: "Ooh la la for not a lot of moo la la." The item featured? A Tahari sequined tank. For $148.

The next page features Alice + Olivia leggings for $297.

Since those are outrageous prices in my world for a freaking pair of leggings, or some sequins, Neiman Marcus can suck it.

Eat, Pray, Barf

According to In Style magazine, Julia Roberts is filming "Eat, Pray, Love." Based on that, I can already tell the book will trump the movie.

Peeves of Yore: Never Gonna Give You Up...

Today's theme, kids, is music, because I want some new stuff that I already know I like. I really like Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," but I think that's on her new album, and all her other stuff I know is on the old album. I really like the Leighton Meester/Robin Thicke collab. Because I'm 16, I'm partial to the "Now! That's What I Call Music" albums, but as usual half the songs suck. I'm also digging on Taylor Swift lately, and of course, Adam Lambert's album dropped.

So, these previous peeves all feature music in some way or another. And if you think you know me and can guess what music I ended up with...leave it in the comments.

Michelle hated on a material girl.

I think Blaugra was really mad that Vampire Weekend is just cashing in on the vampire craze. Followers.

Maybe if Joanne gets shot nine times, wears massive bling, does jail time, and gets into a fight with someone on the opposite coast, the answer will come to her. Sounds like a lot of work.

I bet my music choices above made Erin cry a river.

I wanted to leave Gwen Stefani high on a hill.

Red hated on the King of Pop...'s funeral coverage. I wouldn't throw you to the wolves like that, Red!

It Seems to Me

That the phrase "comparing apples and oranges" doesn't mean what most people think it does.  Comparing apples and oranges is easy.  "This is an apple, and this is an orange.  An apple has a thin skin, an orange has a thick skin, yadda yadda..."  The way the phrase is usually employed implies that two dissimilar things are being treated as though they were the same.  Therefore, what should be said is "equating apples and oranges." 

This Grammar Tyrant moment has been brought to you by the letter X and the number 3.

Miso Crazy

I often eat lunch at the same, mellow, quiet sushi restaurant each week. The staff plays music that they probably think is soothing. However, it's the new-age-muzak-instrumental version of George Michael's Faith album, and it's on the same time cycle every day.

I kid you not.

I often sing "I'm never gonna dance again, guilty feet got no rhythm..." during the soup course.  That's Careless Whisper. The song Faith comes up during the sushi combination plate. "Well I think it would be nice, if I could touch your body..." 

After the 23rd time hearing this, I'm about to lose my faith in the place.

10x More Ugly

One of my dear dear friends is fucking gorgeous. Great skin, big boobs, tiny waist, great skin...okay, so lately her hair's been sorta fucked, but did I mention she has great skin?

She has a regular hookup to a dermatologist who, it's been said, takes a metal stick thingy to friend's skin and produces all this oil and shit out of friend's face, recycling it into petroleum jelly and leaving friend's face flawless.

So when I saw a Revlon $4.99 metal stick thingy/10x magnifying hand held mirror combo pack at Target...well, you know where this is going, right?

Let's just say that I do not have great skin, and now I'm more aware of that than ever before. Oh, and I also have age/skin spots I wasn't previously aware of. And, AND, I'm now addicted to looking at my massive pores in this gigantic mirror.

Fuck you, Revlon. And Target. And my friend and her perfect skin, while we're at it.

Lovin' it up 'til I Hit the Ground

When I am going into an elevator, I will usually step to the side when the doors open and wait a second or two for anyone to come out.  Lately it seems that there are more and more elevator lurkers.  After I hold up for a couple of beats and then try to go into the elevator when it looks to be empty, these jokers are waiting to crash into me. These people stand out of sight in the corner, either mesmerized by the little TV screens showing ads and dumb facts or they are jacking around with their Black Berries.  Move out smartly punks!

And on the topic of elevators, I find it really irritating when guys try to show how courtly and chivalrous they are.  These are the dopey characters who will stand back and refuse to go into the damn elevator before a female when there is some girl still about 30 yards away.  Hey dirtbag, wouldn't it make more sense to walk yourself into the elevator and hold the door so other people can get on, instead of standing around sitting on your thumbs so the elevator leaves before ANYBODY can get on?  Usually I will try to go around these guys but sometimes I am too far away to make it.

Reader Peeves: Epic Tome Edition

Have a peeve? Send it in. peevedmichelle at yahoo dot com

Putnawa (former Peever!) has a peeve:

Sprint: The name of your company and what I will do to get away from you

Dear Sprint,

I've been a loyal customer for a long time. A very long time. Two transcontinental moves kind of long. I've purchased four phones from you. (It should only have been three, but I dropped one in a teeny, tiny cup of water once and it died and needed replacing.) I've upgraded my plan five times. I've paid extra charges -- while unemployed -- because I get bored and all kinds of Chatty Cathy before my free nights and weekends begin. And I've done all this because your coverage is superb. Everywhere I go, in five different cities, I have coverage. Everywhere. Out in the toolie-berries where my parents live. Bargain basements in Boston. Concrete bunkers in the valleys of Seattle. In small, hole-in-the-wall restaurants where NONE of my friends have ever had coverage, I still get the super-important texts about where everyone is going to meet up later to drink and dance.

Sure, your customer service is run by sadistic monkeys who only hire mental patients with bad attitudes and not enough medication. Sure, there have been grievous billing errors that have taken up to seven months to correct. Yes, you even charged my recurring payment three times one month, making me end up having to pay a $34 overdraft charge on a $2 parking meter charge because I foolishly thought the $100 in my account would get me through the 24 hours until payday and so didn't transfer money from savings that day. And I had to badger you into giving me the discount I deserved as a LOYAL FUCKING CUSTOMER when I needed to replace the aforementioned high-diving phone three weeks after signing a new two-year contract with you asshats.

So, now, how have you repaid my unswerving, irrational and pointless loyalty? Somehow, you've decided to make your coverage suck at the least opportune times known to man. First, I'm expecting a very important call for a contract position I'm supposed to start next week. The phone is in the optimal location for reception and convenience, and I'm sitting patiently on my couch. Not making sudden movements, nor wrapping my walls with copper wire and aluminum foil. My phone never rings. Fifteen minutes after the scheduled time, my voicemail indicator alerts me to a new voicemail. The gentleman called on time, and my phone never rang. When we finally connect on the phone, I am standing OUTSIDE ON MY BALCONY in the FREEZING COLD WIND, while it starts to rain, and halfway through our conversation my phone DROPS THE SIGNAL!

This is it, Sprint, I'm done. I'll be sprinting to the nearest iPhone or Google Android retail location as soon as my contract ends at the end of next month. My Christmas gift to you will be NOT shoving my piece of crap phone and every Sprint bill I've ever paid up some unlucky employee's ass the next time I walk by your store.

Heavily editedly yours,
A no-longer loyal customer.

Best Intentions

All day as I sit here at my office job, I think of all of the things I'd like to do when I get home. Things like sew my kid a dress or make some new pillows for my couch. But as soon as my daughter is asleep (which is usually around 7:30) all I want to do is eat dinner and watch crappy tv. I wish I had more energy in the evening.

Amazingly Amazing

I've noticed a rabid overuse of the word "amazing" recently. A lot of fellow wives whose husbands are also deployed post on Facebook, "I just got to talk to my amazing husband!" and others refer to their amazing friends, amazing dogs, or amazing new shoes.

I'm not opposed to the word, I'm really just wondering, what makes them so amazing? Does your dog poop on the toilet? I certainly find that amazing. Did your husband find a cure for cancer while also solving the Rubik's cube? Again, simply amazing.

If you're going to use such a lofty word, it would be nice to know why. Otherwise, I'm not giving any credit even though it may be due, because I'm mean like that.

Enough With Your Hippy Ways

My coworker is a true blue hippy.  She lived on a communal farm.  She has a Greenpeace name that she uses when protesting (like Willow Tree or whatever).  She protests.  Slowly but surely she's been forcing our office into joining her hippy ways.  We no longer have plasticware, paper plates or paper cups in the office.  She lectures us when we don't recycle our trash properly.  We only get recycled toner kits which seem to be causing my fax machine to break down.  This goes on and on and on.  I also blame her for the fact that at our holiday white elephant exchange the new dollar limit is zero dollars.  We can spend no money instead of the usual $10 limit.  Like THAT'S not going to guarantee full blown crap at the event.

Glad to know we mean so much to you.

I forget if I mentioned it here or not, but my husband was laid off a few weeks ago. There is a good chance he will get an offer for a job tomorrow, but if he doesn't, we are going to have to quit daycare. We can't afford to keep paying that bill while he looks for a job. We had hoped to keep going, but it's ridiculous to keep paying that much when we don't really need it.

So, my husband told the daycare provider today that if he doesn't get the job tomorrow, this is our two week's notice. Did she express concern for our circumstances? Did she lament the job market and the economy? Did she say she's sorry to see us go but she understands that we have to do what we have to do? No. She made sure my husband knew that we would lose our spot on the list.

UPDATE

Apparently, she did say all those nice things. My husband neglected to mention them in the retelling of the story.

"I like to move it, move it."

My office is currently moving. CLUSTERF*&%! No phones, no fax, no Internet. I also don't have an iphone, blackberry, etc. Like my parents, I live a number of years behind the rest of the world with regard to technology. At least at the new place we have sinks and we don't have to walk a quarter mile to get to the bathroom. Good-bye, triple-wide trailer, hello converted elementary school classroom with no windows! From glitzy to classy. Ah, to work for a non-profit. I am very grateful to have a job, but the moving process blows.

The Poop Pagoda Revisited

I wish that there was a single-stall bathroom anywhere in this building. Sometimes I would simply like to poop in peace.

Which reminds me of this thing I wrote a long time ago with some ideas about how to improve workplace pooping.

From The Poop Pagoda:

Why is it that floating some logs at work has to be so fraught with tension? Why has no one yet conceived of an easier way to pinch off a loaf while on the clock?

I have found a better way. The fundamental requirement for a place to poop in peace is that one must be free from the fear that another person will walk in mid-poop. Everyone poops but no one wants to know about it.

There should be a separate bathroom for pooping. A doody den. A caca castle. A poop pagoda.

Keep reading

Becky

Every month I get a massive zit  under the corner of mouth. It is my body's way of telling me that my period is coming. The zit is so big, I had to name it. It's like an extra head sticking out of my face.

My boss recently acknowledged Becky's presence and thanked her for attending his meeting. Awesome.

Stinky

Dear Computer Guys,

It is 2009.  You are no longer the shunned misfits who live in their momma's basements.  Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have made you cool and powerful.  Now that you have been brought into the light please for the love of Gates adopt acceptable hygiene practices.  I should not walk into a helpdesk office that stinks like the computer geeks of yore. 

Thank you,

The noses of all normal people

Bumpin'

At the suggestion of a friend who is addicted to As Seen On TV products, I bought the incredible Bumpits.

If you don't know what Bumpits are, watch the quick video on the site, it's HILARIOUS.

Incredibly, these things really work. I'm not even getting paid to say so. My hair is not too big because a giant bouffant on my head is not appropriate for work as I am not a 1971 rockin' diner waitress or Amy Winehouse or a go-go dancer. But if I wanted to...

My issue is this:  I just discovered my Bumpit is crooked. I have a lopsided hair bump.  I don't have my teasing comb and extra-strength hairspray to fix it, though. So much for looking fabulous.

The Ugly Truth About Redbox

I knew some of you have been waiting to see if my review of The Ugly Truth would be as I had premonitioned.  But I never saw the movie, because what I did not predict was a bulleted list of Redbox peeves.

I love the concept and the ease with which I can pick up a movie at a Redbox - conceptually. However: 

• I went to a Redbox located within a Walmart. I had to ask where it was, because I walked by it several times, BECAUSE IT WAS BLUE. Why is a Redbox blue, for fuck's sake?! I don't care if it's in a Walmart, you can't have a red Redbox in all stores except for one. What the hell kind of branding is that?
• The kiosk's card reader could not read the magnetic strip on the card I had used to reserve the dvd online. Nor could it read any other card I had in my wallet. So I couldn't get any movie.
• Then the WalMart didn't have any of the tortilla chips or salsa that I like (unrelated to Redbox, but it made me hate WalMart even more.)
• Then I had to email Redbox to tell them about the machine and hope I don't get charged $1.06. I went home empty handed and watched Urban Cowboy on cable for the 33rd time, which I'm sure was way better than Katherine Heigl's crap movie. It has really stood the test of time.
• Just to add to the list, this other time I had reserved a movie for pick up at a different Redbox and the machine was out of order.
• Finally, most of the time I have to stand in line at a Redbox while people page through the available movies, which is why I like to just reserve online ...seriously people, use the kiosk to just pick up a new mainstream release. It's supposed to be quick and easy.

This Factory Is Closed

I made an appointment to get my IUD replaced a few weeks ago. I show up for my appointment today, and wait an hour to see the doctor. When she finally comes in, she tells me that whoever made my appointment did not allot enough time for the procedure, and even better, that they didn't "order" the IUD.

I explained that I had been guilted into replacing my IUD after a different doctor asked me, "If your husband and son died in a car accident, would you want more kids?" I didn't want to look like the cold-hearted bitch I am, so of course I said, "Fine, I'll get another IUD instead of getting my tubes tied."

I've decided to be selfish and sent my husband an e-mail, asking him his thoughts on vasectomies. While he's overseas, at war. I should probably win some sort of "Wife of the Year" award for that.

No Service

This morning, I forgot to bring my cell phone to work.  It's not a work phone, so that's OK, but I feel completelt out of the loop.  Never mind that I have my work phone, e-mail and internet access, and a couple hundred people all around me, I feel completely cut off from the world.  It's a very odd, shitty feeling. 

Related peeve:

Cripes, I think I'm turning into a pansy.  I hope I don't start crying.

Pizza Suck

I ordered a pizza online from Pizza Hut Friday Thursday night.  After the order was placed, my estimated delivery time was 1 hour 50 minutes.  What?  I immediately called the local store whose number was listed there to cancel or change my order.  I spoke to a woman who obviously worked at a call center and told me she would connect me to someone who could help me change my order to pick-up (the local store.)  The phone rang about 10 times then the line went dead.  (I got myself into a LATHER, then I WINCED then I REPEATED.)  Same exact thing.  The third try, I was pretty ticked, obviously.   I explained what was happening and told a third woman that I wanted to cancel my order and she again told me she'd connect me.  I knew I wasn't going to get an answer at the local store and asked her what would happen if they showed up with the pizza and I refused to pay.  She again said, "I will connect you with someone who can help you."

The fourth attempt I asked to talk to a supervisor AND THEY TRANSFERRED ME TO THE LOCAL STORE. By the grace of God, someone answered and asked me to hold.  Ah, NO! I won't hold, and I continued to bitch. She wasn't very apologetic, only saying that they were very busy.  Really, now? 

We had to pick up the pizza but it only took twenty (more) minutes.  Not suprisingly,I'm pretty sure I could taste a loogie along with my pepperoni.

Being Responsible Sucks

I am a new manager of some peeps at work. Their year-end reviews are taking place between Dec 1 and Dec 14. The old manager is responsible for conducting said reviews, but I really feel I should be there to aid the transition, hear the conversation, and ensure the employee knows the old manager & I are working together.

The problem is that I had planned to take vacation (aka, go see my boyfriend after an twice-as-long-as-normal absence) during that time frame. I don't have high hopes that all my peeps meetings can be scheduled when I am in the office. 

Switching vacation time b/c of work sucks the big one.  

Cheap > Service

I had crappy service today at Dominicks. The cashier was distracted and kept looking at the lane behind her, which made her forget what she was doing in her own aisle. The bagger didn't seem to realize what she was there to do. And though that's my primary grocery store and I recognize the workers there, I always feel somewhat slighted that they never seem to remember me. Also, the manager/guy in charge actually had the following conversation with me:

KtP: Why do you sometimes carry Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper but not all the time?

Guy: Well, if there's a shelf tag, we carry it. Everything needs a shelf tag.

KtP: Okay, (nods), but sometimes you have the product and sometimes you don't. I'm just wondering why, so I know when to come and buy it.

Guy: Well, it needs a shelf tag. I can check and see if there's one up.

After that, I rolled my eyes and left, with approximately one dozen orange, round, "Thank you for shopping at Dominicks" sticker on everything conceivable. It's like they think someone was actually looking to see whether I thieved a 12-pack.

Premonition Peeve

I'm about to pick up The Ugly Truth, which I reserved online from a RedBox kiosk because I need a dumb romantic comedy to nod out to today.

I anticipate the movie to be stupid and Katherine Heigl (of Izzy infamy)to be extremely annoying. I also see Gerard Butler being hot but irritating in the way his character will fall for Katherine Heigl's. At the end, I will say, "I'm so glad I only spent one dollar on that Hollywood drivel." then I will be full of self-loathing from spending 90 minutes of my life watching the drivel.

Alrighty, off to pick up the DVD now!

One Good Turn deserves another

Last night I went out to a local joint to get some food for takeout, and I had a beer while waiting.  The waitress/bartender gave me the tab showing $15.  After she took my credit card and handed me the slip to sign, the total was $8.75.  I asked her if that was right, and she apologized, and went and swiped my card again to charge the correct $15.   When I got home, I realized they stiffed me and left out the chips and queso from my order (that were paid for).  I was too hungry to go back and fix it.   I kind of regret leaving a large tip though.

Don't Read This!

Sometimes I want to write about someone but I can't because they read my blog or The Peevery.  I hate that.

Passive aggressive or just dumb?

Yesterday I met a new person with one of our client companies.  I gave this person my business card.  Among all the typical business card information, it includes my name.  Twice.  Once in the center of the card in caps and once in my e-mail address.

A few hours later I received an e-mail from this person:

"Dear Matt,"

What the hell?

Peeves of Yore: Reader Peeves Edition

In honor of the new Peever audition, here's a look back at some of the more interesting Reader Peeves.

In my factory, we often figure out the genesis of klugy things of beauty. Barf. Max knows what I mean.

Super Mandy is apparently not a super drinker, and Jamie schooled us in baby names.

RFK hopefully didn't make the same mistake twice, and Jamie - same Jamie as before? - may be preggers.

Is this the SAME JAMIE AGAIN? Can we get nicknames for frequent reader peevers? Please? At any rate, Jamie has meal issues that triggered an add-on peeve from the Peevemistress herself, and Lyla hated on a few different peeps. The more the merrier!

Max talked about braces. What? No he didn't. Jamie-to-the-4th hated a lot on one person, probably out of jealousy over the car. Or not.

Danielle hated on BoA because she's not a stripper.

Will the real Jamie please stand up, just not right next to me?