The Peevery

Reader Peeves

Pissed off? Let me know. peevedmichelle@yahoo.com

A reader has a dilemma peeve. Do you have any advice?

Am peeved.Had twins last year,haven't seen my family yet.Because Mother-in-law says twins too little to travel.Sister-in-law suggested to go when they are at ;east 3.There is nothing wrong with them.I mean no medical condition what so ever.Thank God for that.Also Brother-in-law is getting married.She specifically told us not to come since it would be too hot that time of the year.SIL is going.Leaving her teenagers at our house.MIl coming back after the wedding to stay with us forever.Yikes!!Lady has verbal diarrhea.What to do?Husband completely indifferent:(

Time Flies

I'm glad I didn't work up until the day I delivered the baby because those last couple weeks were miserable. Plus, with three false starts, everyone at work would really gotten sick of me crying wolf. However, I kind of wish I had stayed at work. Since the baby was five days late, I had almost two weeks off before she was born and my maternity leave is flying by. It is technically over in a week, then I am on vacation for a month, then it's back to work, and they don't allow babies at work. I found that out the last time.

Put A Shirt On!

I feel 100% positive I've peeved about this before, but just because it is hot here (and boy is it!), does not mean every man in the city should just go around with no shirt on.  If I have to wear a shirt everyone else should have to also!

No Joy

 I took one bite of this rectangular doody-looking sorry excuse for nutrition and it was all I could do to keep from shooting it out of my mouth at my computer screen. I had to spit it up like a little child. Seriously. BARF.

Why bother?

I hate when companies have a website that doesn't offer any information. If your website is only going to have a few stock photos and your store address (not even store hours), don't bother.

I loathe the Book of Face

My peeve is this: when someone on Facebook wants to add you as a friend and Facebook sends you an e-mail stating that "So and so has added you as a friend on Facebook." No, they didn't. They REQUESTED to add me. I haven't added them yet. Then they tell you how many Facebook friends you have in common. Again, we technically have none in common YET because I haven't added them YET. And there are many, many people whom I will not add. Could be a crazy stalker. Could be I have no interest. Could be that the person is a college student employee and it would be unprofessional to add him/her to a social network. Anyway, I just think it's presumptious to phrase it "HAS added you" before I approve someone. Can you tell I hate FB?

P.S. To the people who try to add me, no offense to you. It's Facebook that I hate!

Reader Peeves

Have a peeve of your own? Send it to me and I will post it. Easiest thing you'll do all week. peevedmichelle at yahoo dot com

Bridget has a peeve:

I work for a big company, a division of which makes appliances.  My husband's ex-wife's sister's washer broke this weekend (after 26 years of use), and she called my husband to ask if I could get her a discount on a new one.

We see her at obligatory family functions with my step-kids, and she's nice but seems a little strange to me that she thought of me when her well-used appliance broke.

I will be sure to call her the next time I need lettuce, as she works for a grocery store.

I like to refrigerate

For some reason, a large percentage of rentals in the Los Angeles area do not come with refrigerators. It pisses me off. The reason why I rent is so that I don't have to lug major appliances around with me every time I move.

Definition of Insanity

Last night I was desperate for a drink.  The water in my building just does not get cold enough and I had no ice in the freezer so I figured I'd go downstairs to get a lemonade out of the vending machine.  I put a quarter in.  The machine didn't register my money.  I dropped a 2nd quarter in, hoping I guess that the 2nd quarter would knock the 1st quarter into the change box and both would be acknoweldged.  Nothing.  The 3rd quarter had the same problem.  The 4th quarter registered as a nickle but did get registered.  Yet when I hit the change return button all I got back was a nickle.  At that point I gave up, defeated and went upstairs to drink tepid water.  Blech.

I Don't Get It.

According to a smug and earnest local radio show, simply Twittering is enough to make one a "community activist."  Who knew that proclaiming one's love for bacon could end suffering and oppression?

I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller

I'm 5'2" tall. I know I'm classified as "short" but I never really realized how short until I was using the credit card machine at Verizon the other day. I had to stand on my tippy-toes just to see the screen to complete my transaction.

Also, some restaurants choose to put their motion-activated paper towel dispensers above my head, causing me to have water stream down my arms while frantically trying to wave my hands in front of the very slow motion sensor.

It's hard being short.

Nice hair

If anyone is interested in seeing what a total dork I am, just watch:

Video Game Fail!

Last Tuesday I bought a previously owned video game at a local video game store.  I brought it home but didn't open the box until later in the evening when I was packing for Chicago.  Unfortunately the guy put the wrong video game in the box so I would have to take it back.  I couldn't do that until last night but since you only have 7 days to return them I had to do it last night.  So I walk downtown in the 90 degree heat, somewhat sick with a cold and with no bus pass because I forgot it at home to the video game store.  I get the right game and head home.  I started playing it and discovered the graphics are of the type that make me nauseous.  So glad I went through all that for nothing.

The Worst Part

The worst part about being sick in the summertime isn't that I'm sick and it is beautiful outside.  It isn't that I can't do fun summer stuff.  It is that no matter what I have to be at work.  I don't have to go out of any deep work ethic or anything.  It will be over 90 degrees here today and tomorrow.  I don't have air conditioning.  My office does. 

I thought all bagel-shop workers knew Yiddish.

When I say I want a sesame bagel with a very small shmear of light cream cheese, I do not expect to have a bagel with a half-cup slathered on it, that I then have to scrape off. Oy vey!

A Half Cube With No View

Last week my boss resigned from her position, and is on her way to a similar job in Nantes, France.  Since this leaves me the international group (me and one other colleague) without a manager, we have been placed under the direction of the domestic customer service manager.  To this end, it has been decided that I need to vacate my lovely cubicle with a view of the outside world and move to the main customer service area on the opposite side of the building.  The cubicle I will inhabit in a few days has half walls so that the rest of the world can see everything I do, and has no view but a very long distance glimpse of some windows.  At least I didn't have to take a pay cut, too. 

Burn Notice

My sunburn is so bad that I could barely stand the water hitting my shoulders as I showered. 

On the good side, at least my farmer tan is finally evening up.

Too crunchy

I do not enjoy bits of celery in my potato, egg or macaroni salad.

Wedding Hell

What kind of people get married outside in the valley in Southern California in the middle of July at 2pm? In the middle of a garden with no shade? They kind of people who could care less if their friends and family leave with heatstroke, that's who.

We're at BlogHer

If any Peevery readers are here and want to hang with some Peevers, comment here. Jen14221 and Blaugra are going to the cocktail party tonight and all three of us will probably go to the cocktail party tomorrow night. Joanne and Kate the Peon are galavanting around Chicago doing touristy things.

That's A Man, Man!

If I would have known there were going to be dudes at BlogHer - as evidenced by this picture from Jen14221 - I might have gone for a day just to meet my Peevery colleagues.  But, you know, it said BlogHer, so I didn't bother. 

A Ball in my Pit

I have an apparent ingrown hair in my armpit.  Seeing as how I shave my pits every day, this is REALLY ingrown.  It's the size of large marble and is very painful.  You think people will think I'm weird if I walk around with my hand on my head to alleviate the pain?

Next Time It Will Be Mickey D's

I need input from y'all, because I don't know if I'm being totally irrational or justified in my pissiness.

Long story as short as possible: My father-in-law came to visit for a night. He flew down for free by virtue of working for an airline.  I thought I would be nice and make reservations at Paula Deen's restaurant because everyone that has come to visit always wants to go there.

That was all fine and dandy, until the check came.  My husband took it from the waiter. I waited for my FIL to at least offer to pay. Nope, just sat there. Okay, fine, whatever. Maybe I've just been spoiled by my parents at least offering to pay, and of course, I let them for the most part.

He did pay the tip. Whoopee.

Today I asked my husband if his dad at least said thank you for the meal. Big negative on that.

I'm really trying to just let it go, but it's bothering me, and I know it bothers my husband, so tell me, am I being totally stupid?

Running out of time

I took care of my hair (no more stripey brassy blonde highlights with terrible grays poking out here and there) but have no time in the next 24 hours to get a manicure and pedicure in time for BlogHer.  I'm also worried that my outfits are not cute enough

More to Hate?

I think I should be offended by Fox's new show "More to Love," but I'm not quite sure. The show is being billed as the first “dating show for the rest of us,” i.e, the fat people of the world.

Thoughts, other than "boy, does she watch a lot of TV?"

I'm also the kid in the middle of the dodgeball circle.

I'm going to be the only blogger at BlogHer without a laptop and/or a smartphone. Piss and moan!

I ordered a Palm Pre last week and was soooo excited.  Sprint told me it would arrive today.  Now there's such a nationwide rush on them, it's backordered until next week. I want to be pissed off at Sprint or Palm, but I'm the procrastinator. 

So if you're going to the conference, look for me with my old flip phone, writing with a pen on paper.

Not a Loser (Just Looking Like One)

I'm really not so incompetent that you need to follow-up with me - in person - 2 minutes later - about the email you sent me.

Really.

40 years ago today...

Milestones pushed by the media only serve to make me feel old. No offense to Neil Armstrong and the boys but my knees remind me how old I am every day, looking back at 1969 and where I was doesn't help. 

By the way, I was 2 and I do remember watching the moon landing on TV.  There, I'm old.

Now I have to do it again tomorrow.

I hate when I forget to check the mail before I pay the bills.

Irrational Proclaimation

I hate velcro on my shoes.  I am neither developmentally disabled nor over age 70.  All shoes that I may have a remote interest in should not have velcro.

Confusion

How is it that "Dance Your Ass Off" sucks less than "10 Things I Hate About You?"

This has thrown my personal orbit off kilter.

Crapvertisements

The following commercials drive me insane:

The Skintimate shaving gel described as having "deliciously rich ingredients." I'm going to pull a blade through it, not ingest it.

The Subway commercials with the god-awful singers. I get that companies, too, are watching funds, but whoever thought of that concept should be fired. There's your money saving right there.

Anything that has to do with Drop Dead Diva.

And what's up with the vibrating mascara? Is that even safe? I was raised in a conservative home, but I'm pretty sure something wand-like and vibrating isn't meant for my eyelashes.

Highs and Lows

Job hunting sucks.  I hate how elated I can feel when I get just one nibble on the many resumes I have sent out and how defeated I can be when I see no new jobs posted in my field or when I don't get a call I'm hoping for.

Formula for Disaster: More Bus Creepiness

Too-tight Lycra miniskirt
+ (plus) Crossed legs
-  (minus)Stockings

=FAR more about you than I really wanted to know

Eye Hypochondria

It feels like there's something in my eye. Yet after a thorough examination in the mirror, there's nothing there. It's bugging the shit out of me.

Inadequate Eye Lashes

I never knew inadequate eye lashes were such a HUGE issue that an FDA-approved prescription medicine is necessary.  Thank goodness Brooke Shields has educated me about this serious, serious problem.   

Dick

I'm glad that yelling at me for something I didn't do makes you feel better.

Smattering of Sunday Peeves

• I dropped a piece of pizza on my white shirt coating my whole right boob in sauce.
• I pulled two of my shirts out of the dryer only to discover the Rit Stain Remover did not remove the weird dark spots that sometimes appear on my solid color t-shirts.
• I burned my hand on the oven.

Yes, I Do Have Disney Peeves

You'd think it would be impossible to have any issues with the happiest place on Earth, Walt Disney World. Maybe I'm just a bitch.

I have plenty of small peeves, like the 13-year-old girls with their boobs hanging out and the older women with their muffin tops hanging over their Daisy Dukes.

My biggest peeve just so happens to be with the people who come to a complete stop when they are walking right in front of you, to either consult their park map or attend to their screaming kid, etc. I lost count of how many times this happened to us.

Move off to the side!

Not Included

Why is it the more you spend on something the less that is included with it?  Fancy restaurants usually don't have free refills on coke yet Denny's and IHOP do.  I was just looking at the website for the hotel Peeved Michelle and I are staying at for Blogher.  I would consider it expensive.  Under "Activities" they talk about their fitness center - the fitness center that is an additional $12/day or $20/hotel stay. They do have all sorts of things to make that fitness center fancier, but if I were just wanting to go use an elliptical trainer for 45 min it would annoy me.  They also do not have shuttle service to the airport.  I suppose that's the price you pay for fancy.

Peeves of Yore for the week

I skipped the Peeves of Yore last Friday due to the fact that I was exhausted from working 71 hours last week.  That's right.  SEVENTY ONE.  Thankfully, Peeved Michelle took mercy on me and has not kicked me off The Peevery.  Maybe motherhood is softening her up.

Five years ago, Michelle got the screw at the coffee shop, and made a connection with a random semi-celebrity.

Four years ago, I (yes, that was me) desperately needed a bikini wax.  I still do!

Three years ago, Joann told us about her sunburn and a strange hair growing from her face.

Two years ago, Katey got a rude awakening and Blaugra had a hard time pooping.

Last year, Michelle had a brilliant thought.  See you there, next Thursday!

Two More Problems With My Ass

1.  Extremely pungent odor leaks.  Sorry.

2.  The comfy black yoga pants with rollover waist that I was fortunate to wear to the office today were purchased a size too large. Therefore, they are falling down off my ass.  However, I discovered my inner MacGyver and found another use for all the binder clips that are littering my desk so that I can walk out of here with some dignity.

Cornered!

Dear City Government:

Why would you rip up the sidewalks on all four corners of the busiest intersection in town at the same time?  We pedestrians are risking our lives trying to weave around cars in the street with agitated drivers at the wheel.  What genius thought up this plan?

Sincerely,

"Hey! I'm Walkin' Here!"

Related

Yesterday I was playing the Neverending Movie Quiz in Facebook and kind of dozed off while watching TV.  This is not uncommon.  However, when I awoke I was a bit befuddled and my computer was being scanned.  I have no idea how on earth I ended up with PC Security 09 but now I have it.  It is the devil.  It has hijacked my browser and I can't do simple things like check my Yahoo email because it is "insecure."  Similarly it is smart enough to know when you are trying to download something to get rid of it because it won't let me go to those pages either due to their insecurity. 

*I do have Firefox downloaded.  It seems to be unable to work with my DSL program. Or maybe it can but every time I try I get a failure to connect error.   Usually that's fine because I don't mind IE except for the once a year some stupid malware downloads. 

Stupid McAffee

Dear McAffee,

Why do I pay you a bajillion dollars each year to renew my subscriptions to your services when you neither prevented PC Security 09 from downloading nor were you able to remove it when I ran both the quick scan and the indepth scan.  Seriously.  I just had to pay an additional $40 to another company (pctools.com)  to get the damn program removed.  See if I renew anything next year you jackasses.

Sincerely,

Another satisfied customer

Slacker!

Y'all remember how I asked you for your Peeved Baby Pool predictions?  And then the baby was born and then I did nothing?  So now I'm considering what to do.  I'm leaning towards something simple like refrigerator magnets or mugs.  What do you think?  Those of you that won were Usedtobeme, Jen14221, Julie and Melissa.  Weigh in with your thoughts.

I Hate You and Your Hair.

Dear Girl Sitting in the Bus Seat in Front of Me,

My, your hair is long and luxuriant and shiny as it cascades over the back of your seat.  There is so much of it, in fact, that I cannot help brushing slightly against it as I maneuver myself and my belongings into the seat behind you.  As your living Medusa-locks detect the touch of my coarse and unworthy person, you whip your tiny head around and shoot me a glare that stops just short of turning me into stone.  After, how dare I presume to occupy the seat space I paid for all by myself, when your hair needs to play and romp there?

If I ever have the misfortune to sit behind your entitled head again, I hope I'm packing scissors.

Long Tale With A Test At The End

I hired a couple of college-bound young people to help me do yard work. 

I've known these kids for a few years, and I've worked with them at other places, and I've worked with their parents. One day they were bellyaching about needing money for school and I was bitching about my yard work. So a light bulb flashed and I offered, "I'll pay you 15 bucks an hour to weed and mulch." They were down with that.  They'd done it at their own homes. I told them we'd work in four hour shifts, and if they could fit it in they could even do two shifts, work all day. They replied, "Score!" which I think means good. 

They showed up and started working, with me alongside to direct where to put stuff and set the pace.  I was ready to dig all day and really get some shit done. It was fun, chattering and playing in the dirt. After 2 hours, they needed a break so I brought out fruit and breadstuff and drinks because of course they didn't bring anything and apparently I'm a 1950s housewife. Then they decided they were done for the day. 

The next date, same thing, of course while checking their Blackberries the entire time. The following appointment, they showed up an hour late and stayed for 90 minutes. Today I texted them, "Are you interested in coming over and earning more duckets, or whatever you kids say?" and they were all excited. But it's been like pulling stubborn dandelions to get them to commit.

Is this what kids are like today?  Totally short attention spans, lack of real initiative, unprepared?  If it were me wanting cash for college, I'd be begging for this work. It's not hard, they can work on their tans, they don't have to deal with cranky customers, and it pays better than their other jobs.  And I'm freakin' fun to work with, you couldn't ask for a better boss lady (ha, ha.)

My neighbors are jealous.  They say, "It's amazing that you got young people to actually work."  And I was all, really?  Because they're kinda pissing me off. Are my expectations too high?  It's me, isn't it?

Peevery feedback needed, please. 

Another Reason Starbucks Can Go Suck It

Not a peeve: I'm drinking an iced cafe con leche and it tastes just like New Orleans.

However, the slice of blueberry banana pound cake on which I splurged is not iced. As in, white sugary glazey icing. It has icing-looking paper along its edge. I was really looking forward to the icing and then realized I had to remove the damn paper before eating the rest of the slice. 

Fast Fizz

Yet another reason I hate diet pop (or "soda", as everyone else in the country calls it) is that it loses carbonation much faster than the regular stuff.  I just had a swig out of a can of Diet Pepsi that had been open for a half-hour, and it made me gag.  Blech.