The Peevery

CNN Stokes My Fire

I know Blaugra already opined on this subject, but I can't take it any more, either...

It is not breaking news when someone moves Michael Jackson's body from one place to another.  He's dead, so I don't think it matters to anyone but his family.  Put the "breaking news" graphic away, CNN. 

Oh, and you could also stop playing one of Jackson's songs EVERY TIME you go to commercial. 

I hope that is the end of my comments about Michael Jackson, but if the network and cable news channels don't get back to the real world soon I'll probably blow a gasket. 

New Normal

No matter what I do, my body has decided that for this summer 5:30 in the morning is the appropriate time to wake up.  This wouldn't be SO terrible if it also didn't decide that sometime after midnight is the appropriate time to go to sleep. 

Oops. Case in Point.

So, did you guys know that I quit The Peevery? Then I told PM that I would whip up a farewell post? Then I forgot, and then remembered, and then she had the baby and work got crazy for me, and school is out and I am at the end of my rope with things going on and blah blah blah? Ha! Isn't that funny? Isn't that just so typical of me? Hahaha!

So right. I've decided to move over and leave a spot here for someone who can give The Peevery the attention that it deserves. I will miss coming here to peeve, even as infrequently as I did. Peeve on, Peevers. I'll be checking in as often as I can and I will think of you all everytime someone doesn't courtesy flush and everytime someone cuts me off in traffic and everytime someone incorrectly uses the word "literally." Also? Suck it.

Maybe I'd be less irritated if I stopped watching the mainstream news programming.

Am I one of the few people who is not surprised and not grieving in the wake of Michael Jackson's death?  Not to be callous but he didn't exactly want to age.

Also, is there nothing else going on in the world?  What happened to Iran? 

In case you were wondering...

Here's what the new baby looks like.

Casting a Wide Net

So I've been regularly prowling Monster.com and I put in my search criteria to give me job listings for working in employee benefits.  It peeves me that I end up with so many job listings for generalist roles because recruiters select everything to target as big a group as possible.  (Similar to dating sites where guys tick off all the different body types even though you know full well they only want a specific type.)  I don't want to be a generalist. I do not have the skills to be a generalist.  (This is not false modesty or low self esteem... I don't have the skills necessary, nor do I want to get them.)  I just want a list of benefits jobs.  Is this too much to ask for?

Twin Peaks

My boobs are just too big.

Peeves of Yore - It's all about Peeved Michelle

Since (I hope) the Peeve Master is taking a short break from peeving on this site, I thought that this week's Peeves of Yore could focus on her.  After all, she did just push a giant 8 pound, 4 ounce, 21.5 inch-long baby out of her hoohaa a few days ago.

Michelle's very first Peeve Post.  She was cold.

Michelle changed her name to Peeved Michelle in early '05

Here, she had a deep burning desire abd tells the world what happens when she drinks too much.  I CAN'T WAIT FOR BLOGHER.  FIRST ROUND IS ON ME!

PM tells Blogger to fuck off. And rips the Web Divas a new asshole.

Some crazy bitch flamed PM on her own blog.

Those are just a few of the hundreds of good peeves that PM has had over the years.

Next week, look in this space for Peeves of Yore - Baby Edition.

I am old.

I know I'm old because I'm starting to say things like "Where does the time go?". And "My word". And "Where did I put my glasses?" (that are sitting atop my head).

Needled

About a week and a half ago I went to my acupuncturist.  After everything was done, he left a needle in the top of my head.  No big deal.  I pulled it out and dropped it in the sharps container and left.  This week he left all 8 - 10 needles that he put in my right leg in.  Sometimes I can't tell when he has pulled the needles out so I thought "oh I must not have noticed."  I flexed my leg to begin crawling off the table and realized that tearing feeling I was feeling was a sign the needles were still in.  I kind of chuckled to myself thinking hmm... how to handle and he heard me and came in and removed them.  He was very apologetic.  But seriously, it was all the needles in the leg that I'm seeking treatment for.  It isn't like the one needle in my head which is for relaxation because apparently I'm a bit high strung. 

Peeved Baby #2 Has Arrived!

For those not following URPregnant on twitter (and if not, why not?) or Peeved Michelle on Twitter, Olivia T. Peever was born at 11:41 this morning.  I will post updates on who won what in the baby pool once I know weight and length.

Olivia was born at 11:41.  She weighed 8 lbs and 4 ozs and is 20.5 inches long.  For the record, I was completely wrong. :)

So nobody got all 4 details... nobody even got 3 out of 4.  Used to be me guessed the right day, Melissa got the right length, Julie got the right weight and close to the right time but Jen14221 got the time closest to the right time. A 4-way tie.  I will have to contemplate how to resolve this. 

Do the WHAT?

Song lyrics of today's pop music often bring out my peeves. Here's a good one.

"Shush girl, shut your lips.  Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips."

I should be happy that it's an educational song wherein kids today learn who Helen Keller was.  But, WTF?!

Oh great, I just watched the video and now I'm even more annoyed.

The Labor, It Has Begun!

For those not following URPregnant on Twitter, Peeved Michelle's labor has at least begun.  Looks like the newest Peever didn't want to be a Gemini. 

Well That's Useless

All day yesterday there was a dog barking outside my apartment building.  It started about 11:30 and did not quit until after 9:00 pm.  I don't think I could have imagined a dog could bark that many hours straight but it did, taking only small breaks to lull me into a false sense of quiet before it started right back up.  So by last night I was over the barking and thought I'd call animal control.  They have to be able to do something, right?  Wrong.  You have to try to resolve the issue yourself before they'll get involved.  Since the dog is in the next building how would I know who the owner is?  You also have to document the noise violation and build evidence to strengthen your case.  If you can get a petition signed by the neighbors that helps a lot.  So glad animal control is ever so helpful. 

Also unhelpful, the woman who began shouting out her window "Shut your damn dog up!" as if the owner was actually home and listening to and just ignoring it for ten hours. 

Way to Ruin The Cliffhanger

I've never really watched Gray's Anatomy, but I am finding it hysterical that they ended the season with a cliffhanger of do George and Izzy die (or just one?)?  Since they've announced that T.R. Knight is not receiving a renewed contract and What's-her-name is clearly we know the answer to that question. 

Locked Out

Last night, I was on the couch reading a book at about 10:00 pm.  My youngest daughter, Erin, came out of her room because she doesn't ever want to fall asleep in her own bed wanted to hang out with Mommy.  Mommy was already in bed watching TV, so Erin ran into our bedroom before I could get her back to her bed.  I let it go, figuring that my wife would take it from there. 

What I didn't know is that when Erin closed my bedroom door to keep me from putting her back to bed, she also locked the damned thing.  When I discovered this it was already 11:30 pm, and my wife was sound asleep and so was Erin.  I slept on the couch - badly - until about 4:00 am when my wife woke me up and started to bitch me out for not coming to bed.  Grrr.

Peeves of Yore - Late Again

I'm not the greatest Peever lately, In know.  I forget to post Peeves of Yore, by the time I remember to post my own peeves, I have forgotten the point, and I hardly even update my own blog.  last week, I forgot to pack underwear for my trip to Philadelphia.  I really need a vacation.

Five years ago, Michelle had only good things to say about certain household products and fresh fruit.  She also had some birthday party complaints.  I wonder if she served cocktails at Kenna's first birthday party?

Four years ago, the Unknown Peever had many, many peeves.  I think at least one of those belong to me.

Three years ago, Kate neglected to wash her bra in one of those little mesh bag things, so it sought revenge.  Also, Joanne hated Yahoo and eBay in the span of two short days.

Two years ago, Blaugra had a makeup malfunction and ate a lot of string cheese.

One year ago, Hazel had an egg issue.  And Michelle had a peeve title issue.   

No News Sucks Ass

In case you are not following me on Twitter or friends with me on Facebook or living in my city and seeing my giant belly around town, I thought I should let you know, I am still pregnant. My due date was yesterday.

We're Saved!

Obama has come to our rescue with his generous economic stimulus free money giveaways. We got a letter from the VA letting us know that we are getting a one-time check for the enormous amount of $250 because my husband is a veteran. We're saved! Our financial situation is dramatically improved! I am not being sarcastic!

Peeve Valley High!

During the past four days, spent largely on the couch thanks to my massive ear infection, I read eleven vintage SWEET VALLEY HIGH books. 

My IQ haz dropt about 60 pointz.

Priceline?

So I'm trying Priceline.com out to see if I can find a better rental car rate.  In the line where I name my own price, I named a price per day I wanted.  The site countered with two new prices (good and great) because mine was unlikely to be accepted.  The two new prices are the exact prices I'm getting quoted already from the car companies.  How is this a deal?

Typepad

Now that the "Categories" dropdown is over on the right side when creating a post, I regularly forget to put in a category.  It was so much easier for me the old way.

Two Job Hunting Tips

• If you are interviewing for a job, especially a director level position, a pair of linen cargo pants and a black embroidered hoodie is not appropriate attire.  A suit or at the very least a pair of nice slacks and a blazer is appropriate attire*. 

• If the company has an online application that is required, fill the whole thing out properly.  Do not fill it with "See Resume."  This tells me you are either a - too dumb to follow the instructions or b - think too highly of yourself that you don't have to follow the instructions.

This peeve sponsored by the candidate we just interviewed.  She hit my two big peeves in one try.

*I recognize there are certain industries or career paths where that is not the usual interview outfit but Human Resources is not one of those career paths, even if we are a non-profit. And usually, you can't really go wrong with it. 

Never a bridesmaid

I normally really enjoy shopping. I can shop all day. For whatever. Clothes, shoes, baked goods. The one task that I hate most though is shopping for something to wear to a wedding. I have no idea why but it is always impossible for me to find a decent dress for a wedding. I think the pressure of having a deadline as well as the knowledge that I might end up tagged in some stupid Facebook photo with tequila running down the front of dress makes it more difficult to choose party wear.

Not Feeling Philanthropic

A speaker today kept mispronouncing "philanthropy" as "philan-trophy."  

So I stabbed him in the throat with my pen.

Peevery Baby Pool 2.0

As you know the Peevemistress herself, Peeved Michelle, is once again 'in a family way.'  (Isn't that a terrible euphamism?  I love it!)  She is due June 18th.

If you would like to participate in this year's Peevery Baby Pool please leave the following information in the comments:  date of birth, time of birth, length and weight. 

For comparison purposes Kenna's information:  DOB - born one day early, time - 6:31 PM (after 16 hours of labor), length - 20.5 in and weight - 7lbs 6oz.  

The person who guesses the closest in all categories may win a limited edition (I just totally spelled that addition) Suck-It t-shirt or something similar.  In the event of a tie, I will either just give something to both or draw a name out of a hat. 

Update: Last chance for anyone who has not thrown their info into the ring.  Baby Talullah Shauvon Siobhan Michelleslastname could be born any day now!

My guess: Friday June 19th at 2:15 in the afternoon.  She will weigh 7 lbs 9 ozs and be 22 inches long.

Really, I can't have it??!

I called one of our two retirement vendors to receive a clean copy of a set of forms that an employee would use to withdraw their retirement money.  Really all I want is the very last page where I approve it... no employee signature required on that page.  The fax I received from an employee came in with that page completely blacked out.  I really don't want to have to call this employee again.  The company can't give it to me.  It is against their policy.  Are you fucking kidding me?  What am I going to do?  Defraud my employees by pulling out their money against their will?  Seriously.  Give me a break. By the way, our other retirement vendor makes this form available online and gives me a packet I can give to our departing employees.  That is one of the MANY reasons they are better.

No Using

"Previously Enjoyed Office Furniture"

Who truly enjoys your office furniture?  

If you enjoyed it, and then I buy it, can I get an office-enjoyment guarantee? 

What if you simply used it, but didn't enjoy it, which is why it's up for re-sale - is it false advertising?

P-U

I am becoming increasingly self-conscious of my stinky feet and sandals. 

My Inner Three-Year-Old

I have an extremely disgusting ear infection, which is being treated with antibiotic pills and ear drops.  I have to keep cotton in my ear to make sure the drops stay in (and keep the nastiness from draining all over me).  By conservative estimates, I am now 65% crankier than usual.

Moron!

It struck me like a bolt of lightning yesterday, my boss thinks I'm a moron.  Now that I know this, it is no wonder I'm getting shafted so badly. We were discussing real estate and he actually asked me if I knew what the term underwater meant.  No because I'm a fucking moron.  Fucker. 

I Am Not Your Girlfriend

Nor do I want to be your girlfriend.  Please stop asking me to do girlfriend-like activities.

Color Me Aggravated

I have been going to the same chain of grocery stores - Tops Friendly Markets - for about 25 years.  For as long as I can remember, the milk has been color coded the exact same way.  Red accented cartons and labels meant whole milk; green indicated 2%, blue meant 1%, and light blue was reserved for water skim milk.  The only time I have ever bought anything besides the 2% milk is when I've bought whole milk once the little ones were off breast milk and formula.  

Yesterday, I bought a gallon of milk at Wilson Farms, which is the convenience store chain owned by Tops.  I grabbed the green-capped gallon, and it was only when I got home that I realized that although the cap was green, the milk was 1%.  25 years of certainty and a perfectly good system down the drain.

And yes, I can taste the difference!

Unresponsive Work Douche - DNR order in place

I emailed the douche:

You have until Friday EOD to respond to me about this thing and this other thing or I am moving forward without your input.

He replied:

I will have input by EOD Friday.

Friday comes:

(chirp, chirp)

Monday comes:

Suck it, douche! I am moving forward without your whiney input!

I Do Not Do Employee Relations

As part of my job I manage leaves of absence.  I have had more employees who whilst in the throes of a dispute with their boss come to me needing a leave of absence than I care to think about.  This, of course, sets their boss into a fit and suddenly I find myself caught between protecting the employee's rights and a livid boss who wanted to write up the employee for x, y or z and now feels like they can't due to the medical condition. 

Literary Multi-Tasking

I have ended up reading two very good books at the same time, which is making me a little crazy. I was reading The Memory of Running, but I'd only read a bit of it when I was pooping in the upstairs bathroom (TMI?) or just before bed. Then, I had to start going to the hospital for weekly non-stress tests for the baby (nothing's wrong) and, on my way out the door for the first one, I didn't feel like going upstairs to grab my book, so I grabbed one off the mail table that came in from Bookmooch. Now, I am also in the middle of reading Correcting the Landscape: A Novel, but I only read that one when I am at the hospital or getting a mani-pedi or waiting a long time somewhere, because that one is still in my purse.

(Joanne and the other college classmate whose blog user name I forget and whose real name I don't want to use, you should read the second one. It is set in Fairbanks, AK and it is a trip to read about all those familiar places. MP, you should too, if you are still reading this blog.)

Just Sayin'

Peeves of Yore - It's my birthday, bitches

I'm 40 today. Fuck off, wrinkles!

Kate had a recent birthday peeve.

Nikki hated birthdays on Facebook.

Michelle forgot to wish Joanne a Happy Birthday.  And Target messed up her mom's birthday.  And she needs to add a 'search this blog' feature to the Peevery.com.

WTF HR

I sent an email to the HR Director three days ago. She knew it was coming. She knew it was something that would need to be acted on quickly due to the circumstances. She never replied to my email.

I dropped off a form on the desk of another person HR two days ago. The last time I dropped off this type of form, the turn around time was two days. This time? She has not yet acknowledged she has even received my form.

WTF is going on in that office?

Am I a Bitch?

So my friend mentioned last week that he was thinking of having a barbecue to celebrate his birthday this weekend on Sunday afternoon.  It is now Thursday evening and I haven't heard any details about this event. I was on the fence about attending (but would have anyway) when I heard about it last week.  Now I really don't want to go - I have a lot of other things I want to accomplish this weekend and I feel like since I still haven't heard details I can make other plans.  Am I a bitch for that?

Update: 10:22 PM Friday night.  That's when I received the text with the info.  I'm so not going.

Nincompoops

So I'm sitting here in our cafe annex, waiting for a 1:30mtg to start. It's now 1:45.

Apparently the A/V guys didn't understand the meeting room request, so rather than questioning what needed to be done, they did nothing, and now they are having difficulties setting the room up.

I'm sitting in the back so I can work uninterrupted and still hear the presentation. I'm right next to the A/V guys who are laughing and thinking this is fun. They've already rebooted the system once and oops, "now the West screen is working and the East screen is off!" Chuckle chuckle.

This would be amusing if I didn't work for a really large company that should be able to figure this shit out.

Oh look, now we're starting.

The not so friendly skies

LAX is a bloody nightmare this morning and United might want to consider rebranding their "Easy Check In".

The Legless Shitter

I know that some people are particular about their pooping, or have a "routine" but, if I deem your routine to be weird or creepy, then you need to go poop in the lobby bathroom instead of the office bathroom. For instance, I find it weird to walk into the bathroom and see only shoes on the floor of the stall without any feet or legs and it creeps me out to think of your feet up on the seat while you are pooping.

What I've been Missing

How come it has taken me 35 years to figure out that Greek yogurt is the most awesome tasting yogurt ever?

You're an Ass Period

Telling me that your 90-year-old grandmother, for whom you are responsible, still drives, "....but only to the store and her doctor's appointments," (after you just stated that she sometimes forgets to dress herself) makes me want to cut you.

Murphy Can Suck It!

My cell phone rarely rings.  I use it mostly to text.  This entire weekend, for example, it didn't ring once.  However, during this job hunting time, I've been listing my cell phone as a way to contact me.  Today while on the phone with a different recruiter I got called not once but twice by the one I REALLY want to talk to.  They didn't leave a message and I just don't think I can be the caller ID stalker my mother is. 

Jittery

I went to a party at a friend's house this past Saturday night, and ended up drinking four Amp Energy drinks.  I also had a Diet Red Bull earlier in the day.  It was the first time since I quit drinking alcoholic beverages that I have partied until 4:00 am.  Sunday morning, I awoke at 8:00 am with 3.5 hours of sleep, a dull headache, and an insatiable appetite.

 Perhaps it might be time to cut down on the caffeine.

New Page

I hate websites that open a new window when you click on a link.  (This includes on my own blog where thanks to blogger's blog list tool it does that and there's no way to fix it that I can tell.)

Sometimes Size Does Matter

My mom bought me new sheets for Christmas.  Now that it is hot I'm starting to use them.  They have three issues. 

1. They feel weird.  They're higher thread count than I'm used to so they have the texture kind of like a new stretch fabric blouse.
2. They're too big.  I checked the package and they are for a queen sized bed, but apparently Dillards (yet again with the Dillards!) has a different standard for queen sized. (It may be that they are deep pocket for those ridiculously thick beds which my Ikea mattress is NOT, but it doesn't say so on the package.)  
3. Now that they're on the bed, they're staying despite their issues.  I'm too lazy to take them off and they're from Dillards.  Dillards is FAR away.