The Peevery

No Light, No Treat

Seriously, isn't that the rule? If the outside light isn't on, you bypass the house. You don't ring the doorbell and then NOT tell other trick-or-treaters you pass that the house is a dud, so that they, too, ring the bell.

Maybe My Neck Is Weak

Some days, it's such hard work for the body to support the head.

It's Like Getting Something Free at the 99 Cent Store

I went to Radio Shack (which I normally avoid like the plague) to buy an adapter for my car phone charger for my new cell phone. It costs $9.99. They didn't have them out, so the guy had to find one in stock. In the meantime, he asks me if I need a new home charger. No. Do I need batteries. They are having a sale. No. Do I need a GPS system. They have a special price. NO. Do I need any phone accessories. NO! He finally rings me up and asks if I want to save ten percent. Before I ask him if he is nuts, he goes into this schpiel about getting a Radio Shack credit card and that I can save ten percent on my purchase. I looked at him and said, that's 99 cents. Are you kidding me? Just sell me the damn tip and let me go!

Sickening

Sniveling co-worker enters my office.  Stands, purposelessly, staring at my window.  Sniffs long and hard, the kind of sniff where you can hear the rumble of the mucus through the pipes.  Turns toward my desk and grabs a Kleenex from my designer box of Puffs.

I say, "Ugh, you sound like you're sick.  Please don't bring it around me, I'm trying to stay well."

Co-worker says, "Too late."  Then proceeds to blow his nose, loudly and messily, while standing next to my desk. 

I say, "You're a fucking disgusting asshole."   I don't really say that out loud.  Instead I say, "Wash your hands."      

**UPDATED** A Peevery Challenge! (but not like the old days)

I need a haircut. Please post links to good haircut pictures. If I choose yours, I will send you a prize! (Really, and I will make it a good one.)

Parameters:

1. Must work for thick, wavy hair.
2. Shortish, shoulder-length.
3. Bangs optional - I can't decide

I used to have this haircut and I liked it, but I want something longer than this and not so flippy. My neck is scrunched up so you can't see that it is just longer than chin length.

**UPDATE**

And the winner is... Melissa! She suggested I get my haircut like this and I did. Though it looks VERY similar to my pigface haircut, she still wins. Now I have to think of a good prize to send her because I have not given it one single thought since I posted my original request four months ago.

Three Little Words

I wrote an announcement for our staff/faculty newsletter about open enrollment and how the kits were going out.  I wrote that if an employee hadn't received their packet by October 31st they should contact the benefits office.  Guess which words were deleted from the announcement. 

Overboard?

I'm going to a fancypants gala sponsored by my employer.  I was thinking today that I was going to go get my hair done and then I thought that I should go get a mani/pedi.  Then I looked at my nails and thought 'ooh, if I'm getting a mani/pedi I should get some sort of artifical nails.*'  Then I thought I had gone completely overboard and I need to rein myself back in.  But on the off chance I decide not to, what's the best type for more of a short term solution that may not require multiple manicurist visits? 

*I feel compelled to explain that a - I've never had artificial nails in my life and b - I wouldn't think of it except that 4 of my nails are split and broken back to the quick so they look like ass.

Back to Work, Part 3

It took me almost two hours to get home tonight because one traffic light was out in Malibu.

Deceptively Delicious

Jessica Seinfeld obviously has the best publicity on the face of the earth, because every time I mention that my toddler doesn't eat vegetables someone mentions her book. Does a working mother with a toddler and a husband that works 80 hours a week REALLY have time to puree her own zucchini? I'm sure the wife of Jerry Seinfeld knows EXACTLY what that's like.

Incognito

Since when does a hoodie and wind pants constitute a Halloween costume? Step it up, fourteen-year-old. If you're carrying a cell phone and an ipod, you can afford your own candy.