I tried to buy some Crocs this weekend.
The swelling in my feet and ankles due to being enormously pregnant is really gross. My only shoe options right now are these Skechers (in black) or these flip-flops (in dark brown). The dilemma: (1) I broke my big toenail down to the quick last weekend and was already badly in need of a pedicure and now have gross looking toenails and can't get a pedicure until the broken one grows in a little bit more and am a bit embarassed to show those things around work in flip-flops; (2) the Skechers make my feet REEK. Number 2 has the added drawback that, at the end of the day, my husband is physically unable to massage my sausage feet since the smell knocks him out cold.
I thought, "Ok, fine. I will be a Crocs person. They are supposed to stay cool and not make your feet stink and they should be roomy enough for my Fred Flinstone feet." So, I borrowed my mom's Crocs for the day to try them out and she said I can just keep them as long as I need them. The problem: she has professional Crocs and they don't have enough holes in them and my feet started to get sweaty.
I thought, "FINE! I will just buy some damn Crocs so where do you get damn Crocs?!" At the sporting good store. So, I went to the sporting good store where they had exactly zero pairs of women's Crocs that were not flip-flops. So, I went to another sporting good store where they had only fake knock-off Crocs. After reading this article about Crocs and the propietary foam from which they are made, I didn't want any fakes. So, I called another sporting good store and, when I asked if they had Crocs, was put on hold for so long that I finally said, "FUCK IT! I WILL NOT GET ANY CROCS."
I know another place where they sell Crocs and would likely have the ones I want in my size, but I am hugely pregnant and not about park nine miles from the mall entrance since half the parking lot is blocked off due to construction just to walk around the whole damn mall looking for that stupid cart that sells Crocs.
Related: today my feet stink.
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